Thursday, December 20, 2007

Let Him Be Mine...(Please...)


It has been ages since I last cried and I swore that I will never ever cry again.
But I guess, I’m not as strong as I have promised.
I’m so vulnerable to pain and heartache.
There is only one thing that touches my heart so deeply.
And that one thing is_HIM.

I care to lose everything in my life but him. How can I afford to lose such a great man like him? He made me so special. He made me believe that there is true love out there. And every time I set my eyes upon him, I keep on falling in love with him over and over again. I rather be hurt, than hurting him.

But lately, situation has been so cruel to me.
Why on earth, it’s always being me?

Fate has spoken… or it’s just a filthy mouth of ungrateful human that actually has give out the verdict?
I don’t know and the truth is… I don’t wanna know.

Love me or hurt me, do it… as long as it can make you be here together with me…

I love him… and if it has been stated in Loh Mahfuz that he is not meant to be mine… then I will walk away…
Far and beyond human love…
I will seclude myself… alienated from the darkest con of human being…
Peoples have been so mean to me…
And I… will never ever give up hope upon us…

:: and if it’s wrong to love you…
then my heart just won’t let me be right… ::

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


(Everytime... and I mean everytime, I looked into your eyes... I keep on falling in love...with you... over and over again...)
The first time, that I saw your eyes,

Boy, you looked right through me,

Played it cool, but I knew you knew

That cupid hit me...

You got me tripin, stumblin'...flippin'...fumblin'...Clumsy 'cuz I'm fallin' in love...

You got me slippin'.. tumblin'..sinkin'..crumblin'..Clumsy 'cuz I'm fallin' in love
So in love with you...
::WE will make it true...::

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Words Are Sharper Than Swords


Human is so wicked yet weird. Chasing over impossible perfection, craving for endless wealthy and so forth, human never learned the word ‘satisfaction’. Well, for some reason, it is a necessity for human to be unsatisfied. Examples: in learning, practicing religion laws, doing good deeds and all. But if it is too much, ignoring the do’s and don’ts in human nature, then you can be called with thousand of bad names.

One disgusting trait of human in, they can’t take criticism although they criticizes a lot. They freely talk about others, condemning and fussing about whole lot of thongs, but when it comes to their own face, they can’t take it. They take it so personally (with a lot of anger and emotions, of course) and the best part is, they easily loose their temper. (owhh..time kau bercakap pasal org bleh plak!! Banyak chantek muka kau!!)

Human is so questionable. You will never know.
Sometimes, with just a simple word, you can change a person’s life.
That’s why, there’s and old saying says ‘word is thicker than sword..’

Then guys, when you talk, think about the person that might hear your words.
When you criticize, be prepared of being critiqued.
What you give, you simple can get it back. Or worst than that.

Tata for now…

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

NO WORRIES… (I Wish….)


Sejuk dan menjadi pasif.
I’m still tired because of the long and busy day today.
(Went to Maybank, KWSP, in short, I’m running errands today…)

Banyak benda yg I worry sangat2, and I hope that I can manage it well.


Oh yes… these days hujan turun dengan extremely heavy and this may lead to a huge flood. Poor my parents, we just finished renovated my house and if there is another flood coming, again, it will cause much looses.
Me too. Baru nak start school for next year and kalau banjir one more time~ this gonna be a total disaster…. Hmmm…
Hope everything will be fine… :(


Takmoh cakap pasal saving yg dah semakin susut!!!
Serves me right! Sapa suruh shopping tak ingat dunia_angka dalam akaun makin berkurangan digitnya!!!! ~ just patiently waiting for my payday.


Coursework banyak lagi yg tak settle. Kena buat satu2… rasa tak sabar juga nak meet with my students and get back to my core business. Hihi… rasa takot pun ade jugak.. what if~ my students are very notty? Takmau dgr cakap mcm I dulu during my school days? _ngeeeee…


With the increasing number of my age and him also, we better start off to think to take another step. And we did seriously discuss about this. Now, we only have to wait for our parents’ approval_seriously I sgt takot… :(
What if… (too many what if laaa!!)

Hmmm. Kena sort out one by one…
Baru kepala tak pening…

:: Hyatt yg selalu headache…::

Monday, December 10, 2007

Hey Shoppers!!


My new obsession_ online shopping!!!
I’m so addicted to it! I could possibly spent 4-5 hours surfing the net, going to one online store to another and ended up buying loads of things!_ OMG!

Money is not the main issue here but the urge and tendency to buy is way to worrying! I mean, compare to our usual visit to the store in real life, online shopping is much more fascinating and fun too! The price is negotiable and the satisfaction is unquestionable.

And one other thing is my obsession on buying replica things such as AAA replica of branded handbags. Recently I spent over RM650 just to buy one voluptuous LV Neo Cabby MM handbags!! Well compared to the original stuff (which I don’t think that I can afford it_obviously) the replica is not bad too. The quality is 90-95% near perfection. Phewww….

Hmmm… this is have to be stopped.. Or else I will have a short on my saving…


Sunday, December 9, 2007


Hye to all. I woke up a lil’bit late this morning and being surprised (well, it’s not a big thing actually) by Niza saying that she’s getting married at the end of next year.
I’m so happy for her. Another one love story is in the making.

I guess, that’s the best thing for both of them. Niza is in Labuan and Mosh is in Johor, so I think that marriage will keep them close. Hehehee…

A friend of mine asked me, when will I tie the knot?
Well, it’s too hard for me to answer that, actually. Frankly speaking, i‘m afraid of commitment and marriage is something that requires a lot of patience and commitment as well.
I don’t think that I’m ready for that.
Try to look from the financial aspect is one other thing. Financial stability is way from good enough for me to get married. There are things that should be taken care of before I end my single life.

So I think, let’s just pray and hope that this girl will get married soon. Heheee…
:: Always pray.. always have... ::

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

My Dead Soul~


I don’t know why, but the moment I woke up this morning, I felt like something in me was missing.
I lied on my bed with eyes wide open and try to recognize which part in me was actually gone, but, to no avail.
My heart is aching.
In a distance, I could hear the loosing army marching in.
I was cold to stumble.

There is a lot of thing to be considered, yet I’m not done anything so far.
As we are growing up, soon we come to realize that actually life is not as sweet as in may look.
There is no such thing as…”and they lived happily ever after…” (Learn this from the movie ‘enchanted’…)
Reality is cruel. A cold blood murderer.

Journey of life should never be taken for granted, because we might regret it.
As for me, I’m helping myself to be more persist towards my own future.
I can feel my soul is dying, and if help is not being given accordingly, I might bury my own soul in a cemetery of lost.

I have my own story to tell…

Saturday, December 1, 2007


FRIDAY 30th November 2007.

We all four sit silently. Everyone seemed in a deep tense. The sound of whipping fan was clearly heard.
I took a single glanced on Nik. It was easily to tell that he was in a deep sorrow. When my eyes met his, a sense of pity tragically overwhelming me. I couldn’t bear this any longer.

“Nik, don’t take this personally…” I said. Almost unheard.
He nodded with a little smile on his face.
I looked at Tim and oat. They were totally ignoring the coming of remorse essence that somehow made me suffocated. This was really torturing me.

Pity Nik.
He was being emotionally killed today.
He was lethally blamed and right now he was totally loosing his strength…


Wednesday, November 28, 2007



yeayyy...seronoknya coz cuti hampir sudah...

I can stay up late, wake up a little bit late than usual, spending late night watching DVDs and hang out with my friends without even bothering the time constrain!!

Owhhh…life is so wonderful!!!

~Gonna miss school though…(yer la tu…!) haha…

Gonna miss my oatie, tim and nik some more…

2 days to go and then this mischief teacher is off for holidays!!!
Mana nak pergi ekk…

Oatie ajak pi JB…hurmmm..wait and see…

kan bagus kalau my payday would be around next month…

haha.. shoppinggggg!!!!

Monday, November 19, 2007



For ages, I’ve been fighting over something which I believe it’s worth fight for. Something that I know that will somehow leads me to a better world of hope. Those tears and laughter that always keeps me strong and tough are my best friends. It’s amazing to realize how sudden love will struck us with its magical cupid’s arrow.

LOVE is something that always keeps me alive.
LOVE is something that is so universal. We could talk about this matter over and over again and till the end of world, love is the only thing that will keeps its shine through the darkness of human cons.

Menyintai seseorang yg mampu membuatkan kita bahagia dan kaya jiwa adalah merupakan satu anugerah yg tidak terhingga dari Maha Pencipta.
There is nothing that I could ask for more~

You could name everything and I have gone through that.
It’s so suffocating and suffering when you have already decided to walk against the stream. And you have to live with that decision for the rest of your live…

He’s my everything… this 9 years has taught me how to deal with the cruelty of human being.. and I always believe to chase over the rainbow… no matter how heavy the rain may pours the earth, with the presence of sun when everything is gone~there comes the beautiful stripes of rainbow… Subhanallah…

I always believe…

I hope you are worth fighting for...

HAYATIE is in love with HAFIZAL...

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Dear Fauzi…

We just couldn’t…
We have to draw back and forget about the whole thing…
It was just a phase…
But it’s so sweet…
And hardly to erase…

We were just never meant to be…
Cause we were separated and trapped between two worlds…
And it will never be…

It’s called forbidden…
And it will stay that way…

Miss Hayatie…

:: YIPPIE ::


Yeayyyy!!! Seminar habis sudah. Walaupun penat tetapi terasa sgt syok dan enjoy. It was totally fun!! Pheww! Penat coz terpaksa melayan karenah students yg bermcm2 perangai…

When I was conducting my seminar, the favorite part is ‘TENSES: Past and Present Perfect Tense’. Macam2 yg diorang Tanya. Itu ini. It was good. Challenging some more. Begitu bijak mereka menjana soalan and sometimes I’m trapped with their cheeky questions… ~ tapi.. totally.. beshhh!!

Students dah start cuti.
Most of the senior teachers pun dah ramai yg cuti.
For the new comers, we are still here. Tak cuti~uuu sedihnya…
Still in the process of fitting in…

Next year lagi challenging…
I have to teach form 4 and form 5… imagine that…
Dah start belek2 buku teks form 5… rasa mcm tak pcy pulak boleh dapat kelas exam…
Hmmmm…. Banyak kerja…. (means banyak masa yg terpaksa dikorbankan…huuuuu….)


Insyaallah.. I can do it…

:: tersenyum tiap kali mengingatkan gelagat makhluk kecil bernama students…::

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Teacher Chantekkk...~

Well, the title above seems soooo quirk, right? Haha… I never thought that I could ever hear that been said to me. I mean, hello… are you having a sight problem?

It has been said that children will never tell a lie. What they have said is what they are actually meant. But could that old saying been used in nowadays? Just look around. Kids are more advanced than some of us. Tricks and lies are all in their pockets. That’s why when they said that to me, I was like ‘are you crazy?’_what do you want?_stop playing fool!

When I was conducting a seminar this afternoon, eyes were on me. I heard they said things about me. Some of it are way too nice to be heard. I was pretending like I didn’t hear it at all. The seminar went on smoothly. In that very short one hour I already got a broad picture of what is the difficulty that they’re facing on in learning English. Strategies and ways to overcome it are already been sketched in my mind. It’s not too late to help them.

Kids are so entertaining, it’s just we, as the teacher, we really have to tackle their heart first for the learning to be done. As I told them, “there are no impossibilities in this world. Mistakes only makes you better.” Little nods showed that the message has been transferred. Oo, I just love their angelic faces. I must say that teaching is really suits me well.

Before I ended my speech, I took a great look at them. I can see their hopes and dreams to be someone (regardless the fact that some of them are extremely way too hard to handle) are pictured on their serene faces. That scenery was really inspiring me to be a great teacher. I smiled. I know that I have contributed something for them today.

Mission has accomplished.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Making The First Impression

(me..looking thoughful...haahhhaaahhhaaaa....)


It’s Friday today and tomorrow starts the heavenly weekend!!

Yeayyy! Since I started working weekend is the day that I’ve been waiting along the week. Normally, teachers will not be disturbed during weekend. We only have to come to school on weekend if there’s anything important or any special occasion being done at school.

Now, I’m just trying really hard to fit in.
To make myself feel as comfortable as I could.
I have set the highest par of my achievement that has to be fulfilled. I’m working to better my skills on teaching English and learning several things regarding the administrative deals also. Well, I need to be fully equipped to fit in. I don’t want to be called as a whiner-princess/cry baby and all that. A teacher is not only to teach. Teacher can be a motivator, a facilitator and many more.

Next week is a crucial week for us, the new comers especially for me. I’ve been appointed to be the leader (for the English Dept.) for the ‘Minggu Seminar Persediaan PMR 2008 anjuran Panitia Bahasa/sains/Matematik’ in my school. The participants are the form two students who are going to sit for the PMR next year. It’s like the ice-breaking for them so they can be prepared for the big examination in year to come. Phewww~my icy hands trembling badly when the Ketua Panitia Sains/Matematik assigned me to take the responsibility. There was no excuse for me to say ‘NO’. well, come on Hyatt!~you can do it! And if you are really put your heart thoroughly in it, you can do it better! (ooh, I’m motivating myself…)

This weekend which is supposed to be my holiday, turn out to be my lets-doing-a research-to making good impression kind of week. I laughed a little. Well, that’s the true reality in the world of working. Unexpected works will just popping out right in front of your nose and you have to do it whether you want it or not. As for me, this is a good start for me. An essential exposure for me to be more responsible. Well, lets us wait and see what will happen next week.

Me? What else…
Prepare…. =)

:: first impression usually turn out to be a nightmare…::

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Gift

A simple gift from someone who is so dear to me…

I know how much he tried to please me, to make me feel appreciated, to fight against all odds just to make this little crazy girl smile…

And I surely am know, how hard it is for him to last this relationship…
How difficult it was to survive all these commotions and he succeed…

This shoes, makes me shed my tears~

:: I don’t know anything, I just love… ::

Monday, November 5, 2007

Does vampire Exists?

Being one of the horror movies fan makes me a little bit awkward when sitting down watching other genres of movie. Kind of weird when I think about how strange it is suppose to look like when a sweet girl like me_ehem2..hehe.. loves to watch those 18SG and 18PL stuffs.

I just watched ’30 Days of Night’ this evening with my beloved munchkin. I should give a standing ovation to the director of this movie (stupid, I forgot whats his name!) not only for the genius presentation of the movie but also for the message that being carried along the movie. Suspense and thrilled, I should say.

Somehow, one of the lines from the movie, said by one of the vampires really makes me think in depth. He said… “For centuries we have made them to believe that we (vampires) are only a bad dream…” kind of spooky when I think about this line over and over again.~huuuuu… the question is do they really exists? If they do, are they still lurking and roaming the world of living human? Are they really blood thirsty creatures and will kill for satisfying their needs? Because, almost in every movie of the vampires, they have been portrayed quite in the very same damn way. They have several qualities of physical and personality traits such as : sharp teeth, dark eyes without pupils, pale face, blood sucker, sensitive to sun ray (in fact that is the major threat for them), only can be killed in either executed or stabbed right through the heart, powerful, strong, fast and mortal, and always speaks in an ancient language : biblical language perhaps?~I don’t know.

_to be honest, I’m afraid and a little bit paranoid towards the peoples around me. If they really exist, could it be, the one who sitting next to us right now, or the one that is so dear to us, is actually one of them?

Dear God~

Saturday, November 3, 2007


Salam_ sgt penat..

Hari nih got lot of things to settle down… after habis waktu sekolah, pg jalan2 dgn Nik~ showing Nik around how great Batu Pahat is cum his tourist guide. ^Nik bengong^ all eyes are looking at us coz we were liked a young couple baru balik dari nikah. Nik dgn baju melayu lengkap dgn samping and me+baju kurung. Kikiki_ lepas tension. Jalan2 dengan riang gembira.

J-Lo Fragrance EDP+davidoff deodorant+J-Lo Body Lotion~stuffs to die for!

J_Lo Fragrance: Live Luxe

Frustrated yet so tiring is the major issue that caused me spent over almost RM300 to buy a new fragrance to entertain myself.

J_Lo new fragrance: Live Luxe~ it’s so sowweeeeettttt!

It’s smell like a candy~ so refreshing and seducing too. (Quote: Nik)
I went out for shopping with Nik and he said that it is a wise decision when I agreed to buy it. He loved the smell (giving out opinion as the opposite sex).
Well, thanks Nik!! _pasnih bleh melaram dgn perfume baru... =b

So, there goes my 3o0 week diet.budget dah lari...
Shopping is really a good therapy for women, especially.
Money does the talk and when you’re down and need something to mend your broken heart~ grab the nearest arms of a man : preferably with a strong relation with you (Nik adalah terkecuali…Hihi) and use him as your mobile ATM. You load the stuffs, he pays the bills. Haha…
Thanxs Nik =) gentleman sungguh Nik.tolong bwkkan beg lagik~jgn marah kpd gf Nik.
Dahlah ensem+budiman pulak tuh.. Huhu (kembang la kau Nik...)
yeayyyy...puas hati dapat shopping!!!



3 days of working… (see…even Saturday pon we have to come to school. Got a lot of activities to be attend to and don’t even think of escaping!~)

We have known our school. 40% completed.

The new comers (Me, oat, kak tim and Nik) are actually can really make a good team. Seriously, they have their own qualities to be a great teacher.

But still_ no matter where you are working~ you will find those kinds of peoples who are actually damaging and killing your soul until your spirit is weary. These peoples~ we named them ‘VIRUSES” are very lethal and if precautions are not taking place, the consequences might be fatal.

This group of teachers will not see anything in you but your mistakes.
It’s like they are paid to do so.
They’ll be lurking around you to see your downfall.
They’ll be juggling your spirits until you loose.
They’ll be pretending to be so much helping but they’ll stab you at the back.
So_ beware!

Obstacles in working will come in what may and I have to admit that sometimes it can haunt you for ages. But please_for those who thinks that they are good enough to take control over other peoples, if they happen to pick on me_ well; they are messing with the wrong people.

I ain’t like others, babe.
I’m the one of a kind.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Me And Your Hatred

Peoples always easily jump into conclusion without even use their brain to think.
They simple swirl and twirl the straight fact and truth that lies in front of their eyes and make it into a very massive deception. An innocent people will be the major victim.

I have never wanted to navigate my life definitely like the life that I am living now. .
I simply took this as a test for me from The All mighty. Who do we think we are to question every single thing that Allah has already assigned us to be? Not everything that happened is questionable. Sometimes we have to learn to accept the fact and live with that for the rest of our life.

Sometimes I really felt like I want to burst into tears. This burden being thrust upon my chest is too torturing. The moment I thought that I can’t hold it any loner, Allah gave me strength and patience to endure the pain. Allah is the All mighty.

Peoples always wanted to know everything about me.
And when they do, it hurts me so much.
I have no privacy at all. I’m being disturbed and up to a stage where they became wild and they will do anything just to make sure that I’m suffering from their actions. How cruel human could be and how dark the con of human… (Astaghfirullah…)

I have been whining and fussing about this all the time.
9 years… and it’s still ongoing…

Forgive me for being me…
For my presence in this world…
Question me with all those lies…
And with the name of Allah, I will still rise…

And this is the answer for the BIG question that peoples always ask me:

“Yes, his family still rejects me. My status doesn’t compatible with his. For ages you have been trying to keep us separated, and for ages too Allah has keep us together. This bond will last forever… InsyaAllah…”

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

(Tanpa Tajuk)

Minggu terakhir bergelar seorang penganggur terhormat sebelum melangkah ke alam pekerjaan… poyo betul~

Sepatutnya, sekolah apa yg bakal saya berkhidmat adalah rahsia, tetapi berkat pertolongan uncle saya yg berhati mulia dan penuh berjasa (he works at PPD Batu Pahat) maka perkara yg sepatutnya rahsia itu telah menjadi bukan lagi rahsia. Hhahhaaa...~

Inilah saya..yg bakal mendidik warga2 SMK (S) Seri Gading.
Maka disebut sahaja nama sekolah,akan ada yg bertanya ‘S’ tuh stand for apa..
Sengalkah?... Sempoi kah…? Suka hati mak bapak kau kah?...

Hihi.. sebenarnya ‘S’ itu stand for ‘SUKAN’.
Sekolah yg bakal saya berkhidmat ini adalah merupakan salah satu daripada 2 buah sekolah sukan di Johor. Baru sahaja. Agak-agaknya kurang dari 7 tahun sekolah ini bergelar sekolah sukan. Baru mahu membina reputasi sejagat, takrif saya.

Saya rasa berbangga juga dapat mendidik anak bangsa sendiri..
Pernah dulu saya berikrar pada diri, mahu menjadi seorang guru bahasa Inggeris dan mendidik anak-anak Jawa (seperti saya) untuk bertutur dan menguasai bahasa dunia ini. Rasa sedih pula...
Dengan niat ikhlas ini maka saya iqtikadkan dalam hati, yg saya mahu menjadi seorang guru yg ikhlas dan berjasa...

1hb November ini, maka rasmilah saya bergelar dulu (waaa..terlupa pula..kami ader tempoh probation..huhu...tapi technicallynya kami sudah layak dipanggil guru...).

takut, excited, malu, sedih...perasaan yg bercampur baur dalam hati...

I can do it...
This is what I have wanted for so long... this is it…
This is the time…

:: bukan sahaja mahu mengajar.. tetapi mahu mendidik mereka yg perlukan didikan… rahmati ku ya Tuhan…::

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Surat Keramat

Still in a sleepy mode~

Suddenly an audible sound of roaring engine came to my ears.
What is that?
In this half-awake state of mind I can’t really tell what would that sound actually be, but it seems so familiar…


Aiyakkkk!!! Bunyik motor Postman larr…!!

With a full speed of a race horse (still with pajamas) I ran to the front house, with both hands erected straight to reach the letter-box and I stumbled to see that there was actually nothing in my letter-box.

Disappointed, I took a deep sigh. Only a moment before I realized a white envelope being folded together in my letter-box! With a single glance, no one could actually notice that actually it was a letter because it is so small, stuffed into my letter box.. (hampeh ko en.posmen…)

Shakingly, I took the letter and read the name on the envelop…


Norhayati Binti Isnin
NO.14 Kampung Parit Banyumas,
Parit Yaani
83710 Yong Peng,

I opened the letter…

……dengan segala hormatnya tuan/puan telah ditempatkan sebagai Guru Siswazah sandaran Terlatih ke Negeri Johor mulai 1 November 2007. penempatan sekolah tuan/puan akan dimaklumkan semasa tuan/puan melaporkan diri…

Then everything went black… I passed out….

Monday, October 22, 2007

^Raya...Raya...Kan Sebulan,Kan??^

5 Syawal 1428H

Salam Aidilfitri.

Masih lagi dalam mood raya. Still lurking in the kitchen, looking for the biscuits and cakes.
My mom still busy visiting home to home (Marhaban) so I’ll be left alone with my younger sister and since we both are so extremely lazy to cook, we end up eating those kuih raya. Hehe…

Sahabat2 sudah ramai yang pulang ke tempat masing2.
Ke kampus (mana2 yg still study lagi) and some are off to work. Hari raya tahun ini disambut dengan meriah. Persiapan yg hanya ala kadar menjadi begitu hebat sekali apabila Syawal diraikan bersama orang2 yg tersayang. Walaupun collection duit araya amat mengecewakan (mereka :: my sisters :: kata saya akan bekerja.. so tak dapat la lagi duit raya!) ada juga sahabat handai yg sudah bekerja memberikan saya sampul berisi duit raya! Hihi.. (Thanxs to En.Nazmi and Eja)
Seronok sgt menghabiskan masa berziarah dan bermaafan.

^rumah encik baju berwarna biru...^

^ko'in house(baju hijau): sedapnyer bihun yg mak die masak...^

^eja's house (white tudung) : boys are not in this pics!huhu^
^teratak saya...^

Saya juga sempat berhari raya bersama rakan taulan.
Syawal ke lima kami habiskan masa seharian untuk mengunjungi rumah teman2. mabuk oren! Cause hampir semua rumah yg kami pergi, semua hidangkan oren sebagai minuman. Haha.. tergelak besar kami ketika melihat tuan rumah menatang dulang berisi air oren! Kami mmg mabuk oren!

Bergelak ketawa bersama teman2, melihat keakraban yg terjalin dengan usia persahabtan yg mencecah 7 tahun, saya merasa sgt tersentuh. Kami mampu bertahan selama itu. Alhamdulillah. Tidak dinafikan dalam bersahabat mmg tidak akan lepas daripada bermasam muka dan percanggahan pendapat, namun segalanya ditangani dgn bijak. Saya merasa sgt bertuah mempunyai teman2 yg saya percayai. (Thanxs to Naddy and Ponet)

Perut tiba2 terasa lapar.
Biskut ada lagi…
Maka…saya mengundur diri dulu…
Mahu makan kuih raya...

:: Berdebar menanti surat posting dari KPM... ::

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Eid On The Space (History Is In The Making)

Salute to our very 1st cosmonaut, Dr.Sheikh Muzzaffar for he is the first person celebrating Syawal on the outer space!!

Dr. Faiz Khaleed, your turn is after this. Being number two is always so tensed, but not for this situation, you also will make us proud, babe! =)

Malaysian is on the move, babe!
I am so proud to be Malaysian. We are now moving faster than expected, leaving behind all the flaws and racing forward neck to neck with other world countries.

Isn’t that amazing seeing our flag on the ISS?
We make our own history on space.
When I was sitting with my family, watching the blast off of the rocket that brings along our first cosmonaut, my feeling was miscellaneous. The feeling of sad, proud, happy and yet amazed were being blended together.

Let us pray that God will keep Dr. Sheikh strong and healthy always. His return is waited by the whole country and the pride that he brings is the most wonderful blessing for the Malaysian.

I have to say that I am really proud.
I am running out of words to describe how happy I am to watch Malaysian making history and we should be ashamed if we doing nothing that can be proud of.

Instead of keep on damaging the social development, let us stand together and makes our own history. Who knows, maybe one day our names will be written on the page of world history? There is nothing in this world that is impossible to achieve. If God will, then nothing rest will stop us.

Can’t wait for the touch down…

insyaAllah, Dr. Sheikh will be fine… (^^,)

Monday, October 15, 2007

*Holy Eid...*

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri diucapkan untuk semua.
3 hari sudah Aidilfitri berlalu. Kemeriahan masih dirasai.

Hari ni, rumah saya a little bit sunyi sket coz my nieces and my sisters semua dah balik ke rumah in laws diorang.
Phewww… what a relief…
Having a super duper kid with extreme source of energy is really a troublesome… but can you imagine how mess it would be if that source coming in double??
Woo0oo… so tiring!
Chasing around the house, trying to catch two kiddos was really challenging.
Panjat pagar, duduk atas meja, loncat2 terjun sofa, jerit2, terpekik2 and sepahkan barang2dalam rumah adalah antara scenario yg berlaku in my house this previous week until yesterday.

My nieces are superbly hyperactive.
Cya and Una.
Baru pandai cakap and they babbling and fussing about the whole thing!!

“kenapa uda pasang langsir senget?tingkap pakai skirt eaa?“
"kuih ni tak sedap..pahitttt!!“
“tanak mandi!!!!nak makan bek onennnn! (mc Donald)”
“una jom lompat2…nanti uda marahhh!hihihi…”
“nak main solek2 udaaaaa…”

^ 2 org makhluk cumel yg tersangatlaaaahhh notty nyer...feat.cucuq...^

kemas depan dapur bersepah, kemas dapur ruang tamu tunggang langgang..
Mereka sgt nakal…

And pagi raya, after kami bermaaf2an dgn parents and my sisters and my brothers in law…si kecil berdua ni pandai pulak menadah tangan mintak duit raya!!!

Telatah mereka mmg menggelikan hati,kadang2 nak marah pun tak jadi…
Small kids are always like that... =)

Hari raya pertama and kedua mmg busy.
Layan sedara mara yg dtg, pergi beraya…mmg seronok…
Walaupun penat…tapi best…
Patutlah aidilfitri tak pernah hilang seri…
Berkat kemenangan yg sgt besar…

Buat semua, selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.
Maafkan segala salah silap dan halalkan segala makan minum...

Dream Comes True (^^,)


I will make this short.
Really short and precise without losing its main content.
What I’m going to tell is like moon falling onto my lap.
And with warmest great of honor I would like to share this with you guys.

I’ve checked the MOE website and guess what, I’ve made it!!
I did pass the killing interview of becoming the next great teacher of Malaysia and my placement would be around JOHOR!!!!
Wouldn’t it great??!
Praise to Allah.
I don’t have any idea yet where I might be posted to but still for sure it will be in JOHOR, my greatest place… =)
The result of the school placement will only be revealed this coming 18th of October, so until that very day I just have to wait and pray patiently… hopefully I will get somewhere around Batu pahat.

I can’t wait…
I have to report duty on 1st of November 2007.
Owwhh… it’s just around the corner.
My heart thumping, all my nerves are kicking in, butterflies in my stomach…
Phewww… guys, you don’t have any idea how nervous I am waiting for that day.
Questions are haunting my mind.
What kind of teacher I might be?
Do the students will love me?
Will I make it through?
Will I survive this war?
Will I be ‘the’ teacher?
Will I make any different?
Will I be their inspiration?
Omg… here I am…
I don’t want to be just ‘a’ teacher…
Ya Allah, give me strength to be ‘the’ teacher…


18th of October…. (berdebar…)

Tuesday, October 9, 2007



First of all I would like to thank to all my friends yg dah wish birthday kat i…
Aiyoohh… I’m soooo-soooo touched to receive those messages and kind+loving wishes from you guys!!!

I’m getting old by the day and I’m really hope+wish+pray that I can be a better person and a good friend too.
I’m 24 this year and there is nothing much to hope except for a blessed life. Amin…. =)

Thanks you soo0o0o much…

*tak dapat nak personally thank you guys coz the names are too many! =b
tapi still rase yg terharu amat coz ramai yg ingat…wuuuuuu…*

I love you guys!!!!!


Fir (Firdaus) ~ happy belated birthday kat kau!!! =)
Raya dtglah umah yerrrr!

Jen (Miss Niza) ~ yawp! Ur cd is still wif me—my baddd!!!

Ibtisam~thansx babe!!!

Selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin! =)

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Gorgeous Houses!!! (Shit It Ain't Mine!)


This morning I was accompanying En.Ibtisam went to the site. Chewah.. kunun2 lar using the big word but not coming from my term. Haha… ‘Site’.

Site here means the show houses which are located at BCB Banang Country Heights and Golf Club. It is a place where those rich peoples live. He was assigned to handle and to prove a case of a loaner who wanted to do a housing loan. So he basically has to go to the site named by the loaner, check the house placement, price rates, and the condition of the house as well as the profit input from the deal. It was a Saturday morning, man! This is the first week he works and yet he has already being assigned! Boring tau!
So there we were, early this morning we were already at the site.

At first, I was whining about the whole things. The sun, the traffic (which I didn’t know exactly what the cause was this maniac traffic!) and some other things. I pulled my sulky face. We are supposed to go for a movie, but then we have to cancel it because of this shit!! Benci! Poor him. He had to ‘tahan’ everything, and still smiling.

Sampai je kat show houses tu, we gave our name, then we entered the first show house and I was like totally numb!

* pictures adalah ditahap bongok krn kadar upload yg cam escargot so i hv to resize it!!*

It was damn beautiful!!
Fucking awesome!
The i.d was superb!!!
The colors were perfect!!!

Whoaaa… I’ve never been to any show houses before. This was my first time and I was like ‘jakun’ a little bit.
Giler chantekkkk sgt2!!
The house got 3 phase tau.
Single storey, double and triple.
Semua chantek2 and the price rates mmg gile2 affordable. Starting from 100k and above (ikut specification of the house and also the i.d)
Tapi mmg berbaloi la beli rumah2 tu.. Elegant and stylish!

I ventured from room to room, house to house and rasa mcm taknak balik pulak.
The lawn that connected each house tu sgt modern look, ciri2 moden kontemporari mmg sgt2 ditekankan. And what I liked most is every house tu full of cermin. Mirrors are everywhere!! Not to mention lagi yg bedroom nya sgt best! Classic style with a bit of modern touch.

Merengek2 mintak en.ibtisam beli rumah yg mcm tu. He was just smiling.
Insyaallah..he said..owhh.. it would be just amazing kalau sy dapat that house…

I would probably be awaked every night admiring my living room.

Who knows kan yg maybe one day saya akan dapat rumah yg mcm tu..
Rezeki Allah…
Berkobar2 rasa nak saving more $$$.

Hampir 2 jam berlegar2, and en.ibtisam pun dah siapkan keje and took down every detail which is needed in his report, then we took off.
Jalan2 kat The Summit Parade and BP Mall.
Teman en.ibtisam shopping dia punya kemeja for work, then saya pegi salon jap..(wahhh…memanjakan diri…) seeing my beautician to check on my skin (alhamdulillah…its getting better by the day..)
Ader pulak produk baru…new arrival.. the price mmg crazy but he said its 1..hoho…spray for facial skin… skin yg prone to blemish and blackheads… nak chantek punya pasal..whatever la..
Phewww…penat sgt~

:: after berbuka terbongkang kepenatan..apa jd dgn terawikh mlm nih~lalala...::

Friday, October 5, 2007

Cleaning Out My Closet.


I took a few moments before I made my decision to write on this.
Rather feel scared than letting the whole world to know who exactly I am, is the sole feeling that dwelling inside me.

I took a deep sigh and trying to recollect every single detail about my past life.
The life that I’ve tried really hard to forget, but I just couldn’t.
Somehow, God doesn’t want me to forget who I am.
The memories will always be with me.
I wrote sins, not memories.

Skeleton in the closet.
But for my case, it’s not only ‘skeleton’... but ‘skeletons’.
Damn me. I never be proud with myself.
I am a helpless bitch who lurking in the world of conventional phony.
My presence is completely unnoticeable.
I am an absentee.
I never regret the fact that I am nobody but me.

I am a bad girl.
I never took others feeling as important to me.
Hey, to tell you the truth, before this… I am the black sheep of my family.
Poor my parents they had to endure the pain… me, the unfilial daughter…
I did everything, almost everything that it takes to achieve my goal.
Illegal became legal to me.
Enough said that I am a really baaaaaad girl.

But as I grow older, I just knew that somehow I need to change.
I hurt peoples who trust me.
I broke their hearts.
I alienated them from my life.
My life is so secluded.
I am trying really hard to cleaning out my closet.
It is so pathetic but thinking of the fact that one day ahead, we will definitely die and face the judgment day, make me really scared.
I have to clean the mess.
Throw away as far as I could the ugliness inside me.
Mending back the heart that once I purposely broke.

I feel like crying.
I am so sorry for those peoples who once I had disappointed them.
It was just me.
I know that although I have changed, but they will still remember the mean Hyatt, malicious, undisputedly snobbish me, arrogant, heartless. They will just remember it.

I just hope and pray that there will still be a place for me to repent.

I’m cleaning out my closet…

:: I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it, so before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it, I’m gonna expose it… ::

Thursday, October 4, 2007



Aiyohhh… another challenging week before we celebrate the ‘Hari Raya’.


Really can’t wait to feel the ultimate satisfaction of preparing house for the day.
Nanti kami semua akan busy.

Abah dengan kerja2 mengecatnya.. (which is almost done… tinggal bahagian luar je and beranda…)
Mak Long and Mak Ngah dengan direct salesnya…(Brooches, Leno’s, Avon’s and banyak lagi…)
My little cukcuk dengan bakeryner… a small part of the kitchen is all hers. Nak buat beskot mazula la, cornflakes la… resipi bertimbun.. (nasib baik kueh raya yg cukcuk buat sgt sedappp…)
Saya…biasalah. Dengan kerja2 maintenance seperti mengelap tingkap, sapu laman, cabut rumput, pasang langsir, polish sofa, cabut sarung kusyen yg lama and ganti dengan yg baru, decorate the living room, bilik2 and yg paling bosan sekali..kena iron langsir..
(tak pernah miss every year doing the same chores…fed up!)

tapi seronok sangat2. nanti berlakulah adegan usik mengusik, palit2 cat..riuh rendah satu rumah..
mak dgn abah dah tak boleh nak kata apa dah…
anak2 gadis mereka neh mmg banyak mulut…
ditambah lagi dengan 2 orang puteri make non…yg sangat petah bercakap, buat sepah and tunggang langgangkan the whole things..*cya and una…*

tahun neh raya serba hijau untuk dekorasi (langsir,sofa, kusyen, table-cloth) and untuk baju pulak pilih shade maroon dengan hue pink and purple. Thanxs mum… baju raya disponsor oleh mak… Hihi…

Tak sabar nak tunggu kehadiran 1 syawal…
When we all get together...
Sure havoc.. =)
Love that…

Tapi tahun neh raya sedih sket..
Without my beloved yume…
Tapi takpe…
Saya still ada kopi,susu,sasi,meeja and antanum….

Monday, October 1, 2007

Something Stupid

Love is a parable.
Love is an unpredictable happiness.
Love is a solemn promise.
Love is bitter sweet.
Love is truth and lies.
Love is faith a trust.
Love is blind.
Love comes in many definitions. It’s really lies on the mind of the beholder.
Sometimes it may turn out to be the cruelest faith ever happened and sometimes it may seem like a blessing from God bringing down by the angles.

Love is a mutual respect and understanding between two hearts.
It is a sacred bond tied up two souls in its divine path.

Is it a crime when we have to choose for the best?
It is stupid, right?
But it surely necessary…
Let me choose…
For my best…

Let’s Have Some Fun!!


Aiyooh… It has been ages since my last update.
I was a little bit lazy to write down anything.
Maybe due to the uncertain weather that somehow affects my mood and courage to write (ye ker…?).
Maklumlah, bulan2 puasa mcm neh~
Sleeping is the best thing to do..^Haha…^ ~Kurang fadhilat puasa I taw..KIkiki..

Last week on Monday was the girls’ day out.
Regardless the fasting month that we are already in, we definitely had fun together on that day.
Me and my two friends (Naddy^mcm biasa^..and Aloy ^rakan media^…) were hang out together.

Mutual destination of course The Summit Batu Pahat (where else to go?...)
Oh new shopping mall just opened ^Batu Pahat Mall^.. tapi kitorang prefer ke The Summit cause, I don’t know… sentimental values, perhaps?

Then we headed straight to Star Bowl (a place where we have our ultimate fun).
That day, me and Naddy were wearing baju kurung taw, tapi we all still eager nak main bowling.. crazy,tak? (not really,kan?)

So, dengan baju kurung itulah kami main bowling dgn sepuas2 hati dan tenaga.
We were laughing…
Telling silly jokes (as usual)…
It was madness filling in the air…
We were totally crazy…


:: sopan+ayu=anak sapa la...::

At the end after 2 straight games..
Masing2 penat, exhausted, thirsty some more…
Padan muka….
Bulan2 puasa pun nak menyetan…

But it was fun..
It was damn fun…

:: tata… ::

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Koleksi HP

neh sesaje sebenarnya...takde kerja..
saja nak listed down kan senarai2 handphones yg saya pernah pakai diawal pembabitan
saya dalam bidang cellular neh.. hihi.. :)
ok,here it goes..
*2001* NOKIA 3120
:: First gaji (sambil tunggu SPM kerja kat Lucky Garden Sdn.Bhd as a cashier).beli secara second hand daripada en.ibtisam. Beli simkad tmtouch yg sgt mahal.RM130.Gilakk!
*2002* NOKIA 3310
::Beli time nak raya.beli kat KL.en.ibtisam jua yg tolong belikan.Huhu.Simkad maxis hadiah dari en.ibtisam.
those days kan harga simkad mmg merapu.RM235-0127694762(number neh dah ilang!)
*2002-2003*NOKIA 3315, NOKIA 8250, NOKIA 6510, SAMSUNG SGHA800
::gadget freak!!~berhempas pulas mendapatkan phone...huhu...
*2003* NOKIA 6100
::Melaram sakan pakai duit ptptn.marah pak lah..haha..
*2003 akhir* NOKIA 3200 *Brother Bear punye edition*
::Hadiah dari en.ibtisam..yeayyy...
*2004* NOKIA 3660
::suka giler enset nih..pasal sgt handy.warna maroon yg memikat n camera yg superb..(pada zaman itulahhh...)
*2004 akhir*NOKIA 7610
::en.ibtisam bagi..present sempena apatah..x ingat...lalala...
*2005*NOKIA 6680
::first handset 3G yg aku dapat.en.ibtisam jugak yg presentkan pasal result sem saya yg super duper..lalala...
*2005 akhir*NOKIA N70
::rasa mcm nak nages dapat handset neh.juga dr en.ibtisam.gigil2 pegang.seminggu x tidur malam.
angau dgn enset baru...hahaha...
*2006*NOKIA N80
::pakai enset neh seminggu jer.coz rasa mcm tak best plak.gatai...
*a week later* NOKIA N73
::super gorgeous.sangat 3.2...bergaya dan sleek sgt2..sukenyer!
::saya mmg gadget freak..
*NOW*NOKIA N73 music edition....
::tukar enset pasal boring pakai enset lama..
pakai semula N73..cuma tukar kepada music edition saja..hihi...
tima kaseh..
::jgn tiru mcm saya.membazir!tau!::

Friday, September 21, 2007

Another Broken-Heart Tale.


Psychologists always say that you have to overcome your frustration and depression to stand back on your feet. Well, not that I’m not trying at all, it’s just that the whole world seems like turning its back on me. I feel really weak and tiny. My emotion is so vulnerable and I’m in the state where everything goes wrong with the flow that I make.

Yesterday, my best friend said that she already got her posting letter. She will be posted to Politeknik Merlimau and she will have to report duty on this coming 1st October. Urrggghhhh! Frankly speaking, I was totally and undisputedly s0o0o0oooo-s0o0ooooo upset and the feeling of envy enveloped me really badddd! (she is so lucky~ a KPT scholarship holder and she don’t have to wait in line like me and the rest of others PTPTN loaner.) Well now, can you imagine how unfair the opportunity trying to play trick on us? Again, we have to wait for the confirmation letter and someone from MOE said that we (PTPTN loaner) only can be posted early next year, maybe around January. (Can you imagine how sick it will be waiting for the placement???)

I am so puzzled.
Yet broken hearted.
Somehow, I feel like I’m losing the other half of me.
My spirit is flying away~ So long…
Why we have to suffer like this. This is really unfair. Why must someone who dying to be an educator like me has to go through a lot of obstacles and facing pile of freaky stuffs, struggling and fighting over own emotion (well, that just me…hehe) just to get a teeny weeny pay and totally unreasonable compared to the job that being overloaded unto teachers’ shoulder!

But those so called *desperado*, imitation kind of educators who always/usually/normally take this job for granted get a highway ride to the top? (You see, how badddd the emotion overloaded me…) they get a free pass! They didn’t go for the interview (well, they don’t have to-they are not required to!) when they first applied for the course * I’m talking about one specific university, here!*, plus they don’t have to sit for the killing interview. They are really the government pets. (What makes thing worst is-their proficiency is in doubt) *shhhhh….* (specifically talking about TESL peoples here… other courses~ no offence!)

And here I am, waiting for my posting letter (InsyaALLAH). Sitting alone, doing nothing, drawing my future with an invisible crayon. But I always believe that I am born to be a teacher. These 4 years of studying plus 3 month of training make me realize how fun and enjoyable teaching can be. It is really in my blood. I have gone through a lot, and I’m really praying that this will be paid.

Be patience~ they advised me with tons of motivational words. Thanks for those who really care and understand my passion. Yes, I will always have this passion and patience inside my soul. I always believe that somehow, somewhere there will be a place for a great teacher like me. *smile*

Please, please note that I am really frustrated while I’m typing these words down-so no offence! Huhu! *pouring out my heart broken lullaby*

:: maklong said my brain is damaging due to the failure of myself trying to cope with this kind of fatal depression and focus distraction::

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Cintai Aku




kenapakah pengorbanan ini acapkali berakhir dgn kelukaan....

Sanggupkah ku bertahan
Tanpamu disampingku
Setelah kau memutuskan kita berpisah
Serasa seumur hidupku selalu denganmu

Haruskah ku relakan
Haruskah ku berjalan
Tapi bayang wajahmu selalu di anganku
Karna cita yang dulu pernah kau beri
takkan kulupa untuk selamanya

Cintai dan sakiti hatiku kalau itu dapat membawamu
kembali ke pelukankulagi…
Aku rela memberi sgalanya untukmu

Malam yang dingin ini membuatku menangis
melihat gambar kita yang dulu bahagia
ke mana perginya masa indah itu
Tuhan tolong kembalikan kisahku

Cintai dan sakiti hatiku kalau itu dapat membawamu
kembali ke pelukan ku lagi…
Aku rela memberi sgalanya untukmu…

Monday, September 17, 2007

Bukan Citra Terindah


Thinking about life, sometimes makes us realize how unfair life could be and how unequal the opportunity picks a person to hit on.

Most of the times we stuck on the road of indecisive choice. And to make it worst when the decision that we made ended up to be lame. Kita menyalahkan taqdir dan seringkali kita mengeluh atas taqdir yg menimpa diri tanpa kita sedari hikmah yg tersirat disebalik kepincangan pilihan itu adalah jauh lebih menguntungkan.

Saya juga tidak lepas daripada menyalahkan taqdir.
Melihat insan lain mendapat yg lebih baik daripada apa yg mereka sepatutnya perolehi membuatkan kita seakan menyerah terhadap ketidakadilan putaran kehidupan.

Saya sudah membuat yg terbaik namun nasib tetap TIDAK berpihak kepada saya. Putus asa? Well,kdg2 saya give up… namun,kata mak..mengalah adalah sifat org yg lemah…kesusahan dan kepayahan menjadikan saya tabah..terus berusaha memberikan yg terbaik. Alhamdulillah.

Kita berfikir dimana silapnya.
Apa kurangnya…

Namun percayalah bahawa apa yg kita lalui kini adalah yg terbaik Allah telah tetapkan untuk kita.
Siapa kata taqdir tidak boleh diubah?
Bukankah Allah menyuruh kita berusaha?

Jalan itu ada dimana-mana...
Kita yg harus menentukannya…

Blessing From Above


Today I am so excited!
Damn excited… Hihi…
Really lar… I never feel so happy like I am today. Mr.Ibtisam gets his dream job at our hometown. The pay is okay (although it is a little bit less than we expected) but still it enough to pay for the car, shopping, and saving a little for our future.

He called me early this morning with his easy breezy jolly voice and my hunch just told me that something good has happened. And I was right when he told me about the good news!!!

This 1st of October he will work as a Personal Loan Executive at Malaysian Building Society Berhad (MBSB) one of the largest financial exempt institution in Malaysia that offers property and wealth management as well as providing miscellaneous kind of loans. A reputable and well established financial institution and your position is enormous! (I am a little bit exaggerating here… Huhu...) I am just happy with you, babe.

So after this, kumpul duit banyak2,k?...

Congratulations honey…
It’s a blessing from above.

:: as like you said “Have faith in Allah” ::

Friday, September 14, 2007

Saya Yg Pasif


Hurrrmmm....baru nak pukul 12pm..
tapi terasa mcm bertahun2 nak jejak ke pukul 7pm...
silly me..(bawaklah bersabar...)
almost 24 years of roaming the earth neh pun saya still rasa mengada2 nak tahan
puasa...damn really mengalahkan budak kecik...
time nak sahur liat nak bangun..then time nak buka puasa pulak
daddy dearie pening kepala melayan karenah puteri2 dia...
nak cendol,teh bunga,roti john,murtabak...rojak..
hello..kata nak diet???
my mum pulak is the rajinest person in the universe...
masak tuh,masak nih...saya rasa bertuah ade ibu yg pandai masak..
she's really good in cooking... =)
tapi...this ramadhan...jauh dgn en.ibtisam la pulak...
kalau zaman dulu2...time belajar dulu (zaman muda muda) saya lah yg jadi
alarm clock dia...time sahur saya adalah time sahur dia..
dgn gigihnya saya kejut dia bgn sahur...and kdg2 saya pulak yg tak bangun sahur...hihi..
time berbuka adalah yg paling meriah..
berderet polisterin..bekas2 air...
en.ibtisam loves malay foods those yg spicy and exotic...
saya dan en.ibtisam akan sama2 mengharung baazar ramadhan kat serdang tuh
and beli whole lot of things and then we ended up crazy full!
betul2 miss those days and miss him too...
punyelah saya ni sgt pasaif,saya type ini dgn keadaan berbaring dan meniarap
dgn kepala separas dengan keyboard...
duduk berhibernasi dalam bilik sambil ditemani PC yg setia...
waiting for the clock to keep on ticking...
for the time to keep on running...
sambil berkira2 menu apa yg bakal saya makan ketika berbuka nanti...(hehehhh...)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Ramadhan Yang Terang

Awal maghrib kami sudah melekat dihadapan TV.mahu menanti pakcik yg saban tahun memberikan khabar gembira kedatangan ramadhan al-mubarak dan idul fitri.pakcik itu panjang umur.hehe~syukur.khamis ini kita akan sama2 menjalankan ibadah puasa.secara tidak langsung ini peluang saya untuk berdiet.pipi sudah tembam.maka wajiblah sudah saya untuk berdiet. =b
minggu lepas saya berkonflik dgn pakngah.konflik keadaan.kdgkala saya bersikap pemarah.timbul rasa menyesal.umur yg meningkat masih belum mematangkan saya dalam mengawal kemarahan.samaada pakngah dipihak yg benar ataupun tidak, itu tidak lagi penting bg saya.saya minta maaf,pakngah.geram krn diri diperstupidkan.*ramadhan membuka peluang keinsafan*
saya muhasabah diri sendiri.mencari dimana khilafnya saya.saya juga seperti mereka.pengalah pada keadaan.semoga ramadhan memberikan sinar terang.ramadhan simbol cinta.hamba kepada penciptanya.terasa diri kecil dan tuntas mendaki puncak cinta teragung.
Dalam saya mengejar cinta manusia,ingin jua cinta agung YaRabbi saya dakap.
Diri ini banyak dosanya.
terasa hati hitam.bernoda.
semoga ramadhan datang dgn sinar yg terang.
:: Tangisan Barakah.. ::

Monday, September 10, 2007



It has been ages since I last cried.
But today, my emotion over loaded me.
When I watched him took his steps, tears rolling down and wet my cheeks.
The sadness overwhelming me.
Those two days were the happiest day in my life. It was among the most unforgettable.

This emptiness that you left somehow will always makes me realize how great it is to have you in my life…

:: a great man he is… ::

Friday, September 7, 2007

Why You Have To Fear, When I Comes Too Near?


Each time they meet their friends, they will be talking about ME. My styles, my outfits, my handbags, my shoes, my make ups and everything that comes with me. My skin tone, my body weight, my boyfriend, my friends, my foes… ooo they just can’t stop talking and gossiping about ME. They wanted to know everything about me, they digging up stories and if they couldn’t they will create one big juicy story about ME. That is what they do usually when my name comes to their mind. They just can’t avoid me because I’m irresistible.
Things that they will be talking about me are:
(1) My boyfriend~ this will usually comes first among of all. 8 years and it will still be the same. Same stories, same gossips, they will spice it up a little and sometimes will go over the line.
(2) My family~ everything that happened in my family will be discussed under the topic ‘what are their latest happening events?’ I live a life of a celeb!
(3) My finance~ they will die in grudge when they see my saving account. Full stop. End of the story.
(4) My car~”She is not working, how come she owned a car!! That must be a scandal!!” what is a big deal about that? Don’t make such a big fuss about that. Look at yourself! Hey, you are not married, how come you could have a baby? ~Nahhh… who wants to answer that??!
(5) My Degree~ “Is she already finished her study?” “Got what class of degree aaa?”. Phewww! Again.. I live a life of a celeb!
(6) My Life History~ Stories since I was a little kid until my recent age, they will be talking about this unstoppably. Never-ending. My stories are ever green. Should I be proud of that? Again, they will spice it up… Goreng pon sodapppp!

There you go. A bunch of peoples can’t stop but talking about ME. They just love ME. They adore ME so much. Without ME to light up their lives, they will become dull and boring. Thanks to ME. In fact, they wanted to be ME, but they just couldn’t. So, I will leave them in envy, hatred arouse and envelop them for the rest of their life, while they busy talking and saying things about ME, I will navigate my own life in a solemn happiness.
Keep talking peoples. You can’t change anything.

Rahsia!! (shhhh)

Bangun pagi2. online saja, sudah di tag oleh Dhiey.
O0o...mau lari jauh2 yah... nanti!!

Baiklah. Ini tajuk tag kita pada hari ini.

5 Things Which Are Unknown To The Public.

Hmmm…. Berat hati juga mahu mengaku. It’s supposed to be secret la weh.
Tapi takpelah… mari kita berkongsi rahsia Hyatt. Ngehehe…

(#1 ~ Saya Tahu Kalau Orang Menipu)

Haa.. skill ini sgt2 diperlukan kebih2 lagi kalau kita bakal menjadi seorang guru.yaaa...tepat sekali. Skill kantoikan orang kalau ada orang try nak kelepet kita. Alhamdulillah. Ni bakat yang Allah swt bagi pada saya. Dengan syarat, saya kena berdepan dgn orang itu la. Kalau tipu saya dalam phone atau email atau sms, kompom saya pon akan terkelepet jugak.kakaka. orang nak kelepet kita nih senang jer nak tau… *rahsia tidak boleh didedahkan…* hihi… yahh..jgn cuba2 tipu saya.. =b

(#2~ Saya Panas Baran)

Hmmm… seperti Dhiey, saya jarang marah. Tetapi apabila sudah marah, maka akan terjadilah sesi sepak terajang tendang tumbuk, kutukan bertalu2, ungkit mengungkit dan segala mcm jurus2 peperangan epik kuno akan terkeluar dgn sendirinya. Cepat co0l, tetapi mengambil masa yg lama untuk memaafkan. H0ho..

(#3~ Sebelum Tido Suka Berangan Date Dengan Artis)

hahahaha… weh… suka hati sayalah..
tuh yg kekadang termimpi2 tuh..nganganga…

(#4~ Bagi Nama Orang Yang Saya Benci Kepada Binatang Peliharaan)

haha... padan muka. Saya kejam.

“Meh leman,meh…kurrr…kurrrr..kurrr…”


Saya seorang yg jiwang. Jiwang karat. Huhu.kat luar jer nampak cam macho..tapi...hahaha....
UUU..enough! Enough!

Maka. Mangsa2 tag saya adalah...:
Cik Nad

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Words Between The Lies


Ibtisam initiates the talk yesterday with a very simple question. A simple one yet struck me to a massive numb.

Ibtisam: Have you ever lied to someone?

Me: (paused for a moment) ….I think I did it sometimes…

Ibtisam: Why must you lie? You did it purposely?

Me: It’s a white lie. I did it for the sake of everyone. Well, I’m not doing it freely. It’s basically depending on the reason.

Ibtisam: A lie is a lie. There is no such term as a white lie. Think about the person you lied. Aren’t they feel so much pain when they know the truth? They must have loose their trust on you.

Me: They don’t have to know that I lied to them. If they know the truth, that will hurt them deeply. (My facial expression started to turn red. Ibtisam really put me in a hot conversation with him)

So you mean that, you lied because you wanted to save yourself from a deadly occasion? Aren’t that selfish?

Me: stop digging me! You’re acting like you have not ever lie in your entire life!!

Ibtisam: That is because I haven’t lie to anybody. I’m giving excuses but not lying. Hard to believe?

Me: Yeahhh…damn hard to believe..!

Ibtisam: How many times that you ended up crying when you asked me something? How many times did I fight with my friends when they wanted to know something from me? Have I ever escaped from trouble each time I tell the truth? Can you tell me when did I say to you that you are not fat when the fact is you’ve got a bump on your tummy? You cried. My friends hurt. I did hurt. But I rather be hurt and hurt someone for them to know the truth rather than saying lies to them, and to you. Because telling the truth makes us stronger and ready to face any kind of consequences without having any fear. You are going to be a teacher and a teacher should not lie, because kids trust you. They see you as their light. No matter how small your lie might be, don’t go for it.

Me: (speechless….)

:: ask yourself, have you ever going through one day without ever telling a single lie? =) *wink~wink* ::

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Allah Memang Sengaja

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat menjadi penilai yg baik.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa kita hanyalah makhluk yg sentiasa mengharapkan pertolonganALLAH.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kitadengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat KASIH SAYANG YANG TERBAIK,KHASUNTUK DIRI KITA.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa ALLAH MAHA PEMURAH &PENYAYANG kerana mengingatkan kitabahawa dia bukanlah pilihan yg hebat untuk kita dan kehidupan kita pada masa depan...
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita
dapat mengutip pengalaman yg tak semua orang berpeluang untuk mengalaminya.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kitajadi MANUSIA YG HEBAT JIWANYA.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita lebih faham bahawa CINTA YG TERBAIK HANYA ADA BERSAMA ALLAH.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita LEBIH MENGENALI KEHIDUPAN YG TAK

Understanding Stupidity


Stupidity comes with many terms. Terms such as fool, half-wit and many more. Sometimes, we did come up with our own term of stupidity. It is miscellaneous. But one thing for sure, stupidity is the incapability of human being to use the brain in certain situation and sometimes the incapability is by intentional reasons. The kind of stupid that I’m talking right now is not the kind of inborn stupid. Have you ever heard of nature versus nurture? Well, in both conditions stupidity can be develop. But it’s not what I meant. Here, I want to talk about the ‘stupid’ which is purposely done.

Forrest Gump says’ Stupid as stupid does’. Stupid relies on the eyes of the beholder. Sometimes peoples tend to act stupid although they did realize how stupid they may look when they act stupid. They did things without reasons. Just to show how stupid they are. It is a pity, right? Seeing those peoples with high level of academic achievement yet they choose to be a moron. Usually, peoples like this, they basically needs help. A professional helps to guide them to understand the living nature. Why they exist, why certain things happened this way, why peoples have to be this way. They have the brain, only they didn’t know the exact way to use it or they pretending like they don’t have one.

We should care for those peoples because they need our love and attention. They may become a danger threat towards the society if they are not be given necessary care and help. So we as the caring and loving Malaysian, lets together hand in hand, help them to become a good human being. We should always keep our eyes on them for they may hurt themselves by their stupidity. So here, our role as a big heart citizen is definitely needed.

Let’s help them. They just ‘stupid’. They don’t know a thing.

(How many stupid word I used?)

:: Am I sarcasm enough? Need more? =) ::

Kisah Seorang Manusia

Baru sahaja lepas membaca sebuah e-artikel berguna tulisan seorang sahabat yg dikirimkan melalui emel.
hmmm...boleh juga dijadikan hiburan tetapi pd ms yg sama dijadikan panduan dlm kehidupan. memetik kata seorang sahabat saya yg suka sgt menggunakan ayat2 euphamisme dan eksploitasi kata2, dia pernah berkata,
"Kadang2, Allah sengaja temukan kita dengan org yg salah sebelum kita ditemukan dgn org yg mmg untuk kita..." (Quote: Hai)
bila difikirkan, mmg wajar dan ada betul apa yg dikatakan (hai mmg berpengalaman luas dlm hal2 begini...hihi..)
saya sendiri sbg contoh utama,beberapa kali juga bertemu dgn org yg salah sblm saya settled down and having a great life with him. (cehhhh!)
disini, saya bukan nak bercerita tentang saya dan dia. nanti naik muak pula para pembaca budiman sekalian... =)
saya cuma ingin menceritakan satu kisah, kisah kehidupan seorang manusia yg mempunyai isu dalam diri. kisah seorg manusia yg saya sentiasa doakan hidupnya sentisa didalam lindungan rahmat yg Maha Esa. bercakap secara jujur, saya bukan org baik. muslimah sejati jauh sekali. saya menjalani hidup normal seperti remaja perempuan yg lain. bercinta, berkasih sayang, bersuka ria dan saya akui saya mmg seorang yg open minded,tetapi pemikiran konservatif saya sebagai seorang islam masih saya pegang kuat.
rupa2nya cara hidup saya ini menjadi isu.membebankan org lain.secara tidak langsung, dalam kata mudah, hidup saya menjadi kisah dalam hidup org lain.pelik kan?knp agaknya?...hmmm.mungkin punya sejarah silam hitam dgn saya.pulangnya bersama dendam.saya tahu yg 'dia' selalu menanti saat2 kejatuhan saya.hidup saya dicaturnya.hatinya gembira setiap kali berita liar dan berasaskan dengki mengenai saya, singgah ditelinga 'dia' dan keluarganya.saya selebriti dalam hidupnya.terima ksih kerana pilihan anda sememangnya sgt tepat.jadikan saya contoh dalam hidup anda krn hidup saya adalah tanda aras bagi hidup anda.
seringkali saya tertawa kecil.bukan sekali dua.tetapi acapkali.lebih2 lagi apabila teringatkan betapa bodohnya saya pernah cuba untuk menerima kehadiran dia dalam hidup saya.jahilkah saya?atau..sebenarnya saya diberikan kesempatan oleh Tuhan untuk membuat pilihan?pilihan terbaik dalam hidup saya?saya ambil yg positif.kebahagiaan perlukan pengorbanan.dan's
tak usah menjadi hipokrit.apa guna jadikan pegangan sebagai topeng diri?tanya hati.kalau masih ada sifat2 kotor dalam diri,maknanya perubahan anda hanya sia2.orang boleh mengata yg bukan2 pasal diri saya.dan saya hanya melihat dgn diam sbg perisai.knp nak melatah?bukankah nanti padang mahsyar menjadi mahkamah keadilan hakiki kita?...kita hny perlu sabar menanti tibanya saat itu.Amin...
Buat 'anda', saya sesungguhnya sedia maklum dgn apa yg berlaku.kita sebagai manusia sepatutnya sudah sedia arif dgn qada dan qadar, dan saya anggap ini semua sebagai ketentuan.siapa anda untuk menentukan?...
pernah dgr 'what goes around,comes around?' bahasa euphamisme nya adalah karma.
suatu ketika nanti, anda akan mengalami deja vu.suatu kejadian yg sgt persis,yg kini berlaku ke atas diri saya, akan turut juga berlaku kpd anda~bakal isteri anda,mungkin anak2 gadis anda,mungkin juga saudara2 perempuan anda.... =) bukan mendoakan yg bukan2 kpd anda,tetapi saya rasa...sudah sampai masa anda pergi dari hidup saya secara terhormat. hentikanlah apa yg sia2...anda mahu berubah,alhamdulillah dan sekalung syukur saya ucapkan,namun..berubahlah secara sepenuhnya... bukan untuk menunjuk2 diri kita sempurna dgn mengupas aib hidup orang lain.anda harus tahu,hati kita adalah tempat segala2nya.
maaflah krn saya pernah kecewakan anda dan pernah mensia2kan hati anda.mungkin saya tidak cukup 'baik' untuk anda.anda org baik2.saya pula hny insan biasa yg dtg dari keluarga sederhana.
saya tahu anda marah dgn saya.mungkin berdendam.tak salah anda membuat pakatan.
cuma,jgn sampai menjerat ms depan... =)
:: hidup saya bukan hny untuk memuaskan hati org... ::

Sunday, September 2, 2007

And He Is Taken


Have you ever try to put yourself in an ugly girl shoes? Have you understood how her feeling is? Well, I definitely did because I am the ugly girl that we are talking about. Yup. I’m not beautiful. I don’t have those attractive senses that could pull man’s legs and crawling over me. Men usually will not look twice upon me. They only did if they see something funny on me. Maybe my makeup, my outfits, and the way I walked, the way I turn my head. I’m not superbly gorgeous and I don’t have anyone to blame on. Poor me…

8 years back, I’m only sixteen and the level of adrenalin inside the body of a teenage is way too high. I want to be loved and love somebody. Regardless the fact that I’m just an ugly duckling I kept on trying and to no avail. It was really frustrating yet embarrassing when I think back on those days. Chasing over guys and fighting for some jerks too. Goshhh.. I didn’t realize how stupid I was. Until the 15th of March 1999…the most unforgettable day in my life.

If human look can be counted in the most beautiful and serene scenery ever exists in this world, I think he definitely won this. He was so fresh, gorgeous, handsome :who is he? Standing at the corner of the grocery shop, he was so peaceful. His eyes were talking and his lips seemed calling out my name. I felt numb. Seriously. I was on my way home after school and seeing such scenery made me melt. Hmmmm…. I sighed. With such a super-face, I don’t think that he is available. He must be taken. I bet that. But, he is worth of trying. Nothing to loose, aite?

I don’t think that I can get him. We just like a heaven and earth. Everything seems so impossible. Too good to be true. He is so fine and I’m everything but pretty…. (--.)

8 years after that, I’m totally right. The handsome and gorgeous man that I was once drooling about is now taken. He is no longer available. He is now become such a gentleman. Sometimes I wander if he is an angel cleverly disguised in a human form. Yeahh, he is now with me. Mine. My man. As I said before, he is worth of trying! =)

:: AN ugly duckling I was once, and now I am a graceful swan.. . ::

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Di Tikam Dari Belakang


petang yg indah.sambil mengunyah oreo yg penuh rasa,hati saya sakit.

bila mengenangkan,ada antara pembaca blog saya yg bersemangat komunis.penikam dari belakang.
pengecut.bersekongkol dgn kejahatan.
iblis bertopengkan topeng power ranjes.jahat.
tak sangka betul.saya ingat kamu orang baik,krn kamu spt org betullah kt mak,biasanya org yg nampak baik nilah yg sebenar2nya jahat mcm...

knp kamu jd begini?

saya cuba memahami knp kamu berbuat begitu...

kalau sy jadi kamu,tentu saya malu...

saya menulis blog untuk suka2,menghiasi hari2 saya.tetapi kamu rupa2nya pembaca setia blog saya.
apa yg saya tulis,secepat kilat pula org yg tak sepatutnya x tahu,jadi tahu...
kamu minat sgtkah dgn hidup saya?

saya percaya kamu..
tapi kamu pula jadi hantu...

:: kawan2..berhati2...::

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Faces.The Happiness.The Pride.The Joy.

25th August 2007~31th UPM CONVOCATION
:: gambar nih dah perfect dah,tp belon cik ciya menjadikan encik.bear a mysterious man.ngehehe.. ::
:: mak long...panas terik yer mak long..hihi.. ::

:: mak ngah,una and abah..thanxs coz sudi berpanas2an..::

:: en.cameraman yg sguh komited.fokus mana yg patot jer..haha... ::

:: tanpa en.koi neh..4 years in UPM would be very hard..a frenz yet a superbly supreme leader.. ::

:: cik beloved sis... ::

:: mommy..i inherited everything good from her..mana daddy..??m.i.a... ::
:: flowers from en.bear,mak long, cuecuk,shah,zaim and family..giler sedih..touched..~~ ::

Monday, August 27, 2007



Finally...(smiling proudly...)


alhamdulillah.saya kini bergelar graduan.perasaan bangga masih menyelubungi hati saya.rasa seperti smlm sy menjejakkan kaki ke kampus hijau ini.dan sekarang,sy dengan bangga nya bergelar alumni uniputra.terima kasih Allah.

hati masih dipanjat pelbagai rasa.

gembira.sedih.bangga.segala2nya bercampur baur.tetapi sy bersyukur krn masih dpt bernafas dgn gembira bersama kejayaan yg saya lakarkan bersama teman2.

majlis konvokesyen sy telah berlangsung dgn jayanya.masih terbayang2 lagi keindahan hari yg amat bermakna tersenyum lg.bangga giler..hihi...

majlis yg dihadiri insan2 yg sgt sy sayangi.insan2 berharga yg sukar sy ketepikan dlm hidup saya.dihiasi dgn kehadiran teman2,ucapan tahniah drpd insan2 yg sy kasihi,teman2,membuatkan dr ini terasa begitu disayangi.biarpun teman dan sahabat sy tidak ramai,namun kemeriahan yg mereka lakarkan tetap terpahat dlm hati.

bersama senyuman kebanggaan sewaktu perarakan masuk para graduan,saya menoleh kesegenap dewan dan hati menjadi lebih berbunga apabila sepasang bibir ayah dan bonda tersenyum bangga.hmm...tak terungkai betapa gembiranya sy...sebak mula menguasai segenap pelusuk jiwa..

saat kaki ini melangkah di atas pentas kehormatan, air mata terasa berpasir dimata.berjalan dgn penuh bangga,sy sememangnya layak untuk diiktiraf.biarpun bukan berada dikelas pertama,sy masih dikelompok elit yg membanggakan..usaha sendiri,penat lelah sendiri.ternyata membuahkan hasil.tangan Yang Mulia Tuanku canselor sy genggam erat,ucapan 'menjunjung kasih Tuanku' menemani sekalung tahniah daripada bangga.apatah lg sewaktu sama2 menyanyikan lagu keramat 'Putra Gemilang',hanya Allah yg dapat mentafsir perasaan sy ketika itu...bersama rakan2, sy mengenggam segulung ijazah sarjana muda pengajaran bahasa inggeris sbg bahasa kedua.

keluar dari dewan, sy disambut oleh keluarga dan insan2 yg sy sayangi.pelukan dan ucapan tahniah menghujani sy.bangganyer...tak habis2 rasa bangga....terima kasih semua..

walaupun hati sedikit kecewa kerana tidak dapat bergambar bersama Niza dan teman rapat Ketet (sedih sgt...)tetapi mereka akan sentiasa berada dalam ingatan..

p/s:Ketet..sedih sgt tak dapat jumpe kau... =(

tahniah kawan2...binalah hidup bermodalkan insan..


Sunday, August 19, 2007

Gunanya Mereka...


matamu gunanya untuk apa?

bibirmu gunanya untuk apa?

telingamu gunanya untuk apa?

lidahmu gunanya untuk apa?

tanganmu gunanya untuk apa?

kakimu gunanya untuk apa?

jiwamu gunanya untuk apa?

akalmu gunanya untuk apa?.....

**nantinya...disaat kamu perlukan peluang dan kemaafan, baru kamu akan rasai perit dan azabnya mendengarkan kebenaran...**

Students or Sardine??


A two-day back to back from Batu Pahat to Kuala Lumpur is not as fun as it sounds.
Penat, lenguh and all those physicals tiresome menyerang saya.
Yesterday ( Saturday) saya droveall the way from Batu Pahat to Kuala Lumpur (Serdang) to get my graduation robe. I thought that it was going to be fun, but it was a total disaster!!

Saya bertolak dari rumah jam 6.15 pagi. Sejuk sgt dan cuaca mendung. And, sesampainya sahaja saya di area Pagoh, hujan turun dgn selebat2nya. Uuuuu…saya dahlah kurang nampak ketika hujan lebat, memaksa saya memperlahankan pemanduan. Hajat dihati mahu saja saya speed sesuka rasa tetapi mengenangkan yg pemanduan saya mungkin berakhir di tempat2 yg tak sepatutnya maka saya pun mematikan harsat tersebut. Perjalanan diteruskan dgn kelajuan tahap pemandu jenama ‘P’.

Tepat jam 8.00 pagi saya tiba di UPM (universiti terchenta) dan terus menjemput en.bear.perasaan mmg bercampur baur.gumbira, takut dan mcm2lah. HuHu…saya sampai di Fakulti jam 9.45 pagi. Kaunter jubah dibuka jam 9.30pg so I thought I would be among the earliest but my prediction was far from the truth. Students sgt ramai dan beratur panjang hingga ke tasik disebelah Dewan Kuliah Am Pusat (DKAP). Melihatkan pemandangan yang menyesakkan mata ini membuatkan jantung dan darah saya menjadi panas. Hai (yg turut bersama kami) mengeluh panjang. PheWWWwww!

Pusing2 cari parking..nunnnn jauh daripada kaunterjubah. Menapaklah kami didalam terik mentari pagi. Sambil mengomel2 kami pon beratur tanpa keikhlasan dalam hati. Really ridiculous la..we have to certify first the slip pengesahan survey KPT and Alumni UPM sebelum dibenarkan mengambil jubah. Kaunter yg dibuka amatlah cinonet dan petugas yg bertugas, tersangatlah…aduhai…ada 10 orang yg bertugas di kaunter Alumni, 2 menjaga kaunter dan 8 orang lagi (ataupun lebih, saya kurang pasti) mempacking cenderamata daripada pihak Alumni UPM untuk diberikan kpd para graduan. Dah tahu org ramai buatlah kerja cepat sikit,ini tak…terhegeh2..kami yg melihat rasa macam nak bagi makan kasut jer..dahlah terpaksa berpanas terik…berhimpit2 dgn pelajar lain yg kurang ilmu walaupun belajar di universiti. Berasak2, bertolak2, yg paling membakar hati,apabila ada yg memotong queue. Maka terjadilah adegan asak-mengasak, berperang mulut, terkeluarnya perkataan2 saintifik, tidak terkecuali saya dan Hai. HhaaHaaaa…

Bau –bauan yg pelbagai membuatkan sy hamper muntah lumut tapi saya tahankan juga. En.bear hampir2 give up dgn muka yg merah padam. Dalam hati saya berdoa agar segalanya dipermudahkan Allah. Walaupun hati sedang geram dan rasa terkilan dgn pengurusan Alumni yg tidak sistematik, tetapi mengenangkan keindahan bergraduasi membuatkan saya tersenyum kecil. Sabar..sabarrr…. saya memujuk hati sendiri. Adegan tolak menolak terus berlanjutan. Kami sudah seperti sardine cap bulan. Haduuuuhhh…

Hamper 2 jam setengah berdiri di terik panas, kami selesai juga mendapatkan jubah konvo masing2. tiba2 hati diserang sebak. Rasa tidak percaya pula apabila diingat2kan yg saya bakal bergraduasi. 4tahun terasa pantas berlalu. Saya pandang sekeliling. En.bear sibuk mencuba mortar board… Hai membelek2 jubah konvo dan Jule yg sedang menyelongkar pakej graduannya. Saya rasa gembira. Akhirnya kami berjaya juga.

Raptai pada hari rabu ini. Saya tidak sabar mahu menghadiri majlis itu. Seronok ataupun tidak, saya tidak mahu memberikan komen awal.takut kecewa lagi. Kami melangkah meninggalkan perkarangan DKAP melangkah ke parking. Mahu pergi mengisi perut yg sudah berkeroncong. Sambil melangkah, sempat saya menoleh ke arah kumpulan pelajar yg masih berasak di kaunter Bendahari.
Saya ketawa dalam hati….