Sunday, September 23, 2007

Koleksi HP

Salam.
neh sesaje sebenarnya...takde kerja..
saja nak listed down kan senarai2 handphones yg saya pernah pakai diawal pembabitan
saya dalam bidang cellular neh.. hihi.. :)
ok,here it goes..
*2001* NOKIA 3120
:: First gaji (sambil tunggu SPM kerja kat Lucky Garden Sdn.Bhd as a cashier).beli secara second hand daripada en.ibtisam. Beli simkad tmtouch yg sgt mahal.RM130.Gilakk!
*2002* NOKIA 3310
::Beli time nak raya.beli kat KL.en.ibtisam jua yg tolong belikan.Huhu.Simkad maxis hadiah dari en.ibtisam.
those days kan harga simkad mmg merapu.RM235-0127694762(number neh dah ilang!)
*2002-2003*NOKIA 3315, NOKIA 8250, NOKIA 6510, SAMSUNG SGHA800
::gadget freak!!~berhempas pulas mendapatkan phone...huhu...
*2003* NOKIA 6100
::Melaram sakan pakai duit ptptn.marah pak lah..haha..
*2003 akhir* NOKIA 3200 *Brother Bear punye edition*
::Hadiah dari en.ibtisam..yeayyy...
*2004* NOKIA 3660
::suka giler enset nih..pasal sgt handy.warna maroon yg memikat n camera yg superb..(pada zaman itulahhh...)
*2004 akhir*NOKIA 7610
::en.ibtisam bagi..present sempena apatah..x ingat...lalala...
*2005*NOKIA 6680
::first handset 3G yg aku dapat.en.ibtisam jugak yg presentkan pasal result sem saya yg super duper..lalala...
*2005 akhir*NOKIA N70
::rasa mcm nak nages dapat handset neh.juga dr en.ibtisam.gigil2 pegang.seminggu x tidur malam.
angau dgn enset baru...hahaha...
*2006*NOKIA N80
::pakai enset neh seminggu jer.coz rasa mcm tak best plak.gatai...
*a week later* NOKIA N73
::super gorgeous.sangat best.camera 3.2...bergaya dan sleek sgt2..sukenyer!
*2007* SONY ERICSSON K800i CYBER SHOT
::saya mmg gadget freak..
*NOW*NOKIA N73 music edition....
::tukar enset pasal boring pakai enset lama..
pakai semula N73..cuma tukar kepada music edition saja..hihi...
sekian...
tima kaseh..
::jgn tiru mcm saya.membazir!tau!::

Friday, September 21, 2007

Another Broken-Heart Tale.

Salam.

Psychologists always say that you have to overcome your frustration and depression to stand back on your feet. Well, not that I’m not trying at all, it’s just that the whole world seems like turning its back on me. I feel really weak and tiny. My emotion is so vulnerable and I’m in the state where everything goes wrong with the flow that I make.

Yesterday, my best friend said that she already got her posting letter. She will be posted to Politeknik Merlimau and she will have to report duty on this coming 1st October. Urrggghhhh! Frankly speaking, I was totally and undisputedly s0o0o0oooo-s0o0ooooo upset and the feeling of envy enveloped me really badddd! (she is so lucky~ a KPT scholarship holder and she don’t have to wait in line like me and the rest of others PTPTN loaner.) Well now, can you imagine how unfair the opportunity trying to play trick on us? Again, we have to wait for the confirmation letter and someone from MOE said that we (PTPTN loaner) only can be posted early next year, maybe around January. (Can you imagine how sick it will be waiting for the placement???)

I am so puzzled.
Yet broken hearted.
Somehow, I feel like I’m losing the other half of me.
My spirit is flying away~ So long…
Why we have to suffer like this. This is really unfair. Why must someone who dying to be an educator like me has to go through a lot of obstacles and facing pile of freaky stuffs, struggling and fighting over own emotion (well, that just me…hehe) just to get a teeny weeny pay and totally unreasonable compared to the job that being overloaded unto teachers’ shoulder!

But those so called *desperado*, imitation kind of educators who always/usually/normally take this job for granted get a highway ride to the top? (You see, how badddd the emotion overloaded me…) they get a free pass! They didn’t go for the interview (well, they don’t have to-they are not required to!) when they first applied for the course * I’m talking about one specific university, here!*, plus they don’t have to sit for the killing interview. They are really the government pets. (What makes thing worst is-their proficiency is in doubt) *shhhhh….* (specifically talking about TESL peoples here… other courses~ no offence!)

And here I am, waiting for my posting letter (InsyaALLAH). Sitting alone, doing nothing, drawing my future with an invisible crayon. But I always believe that I am born to be a teacher. These 4 years of studying plus 3 month of training make me realize how fun and enjoyable teaching can be. It is really in my blood. I have gone through a lot, and I’m really praying that this will be paid.

Be patience~ they advised me with tons of motivational words. Thanks for those who really care and understand my passion. Yes, I will always have this passion and patience inside my soul. I always believe that somehow, somewhere there will be a place for a great teacher like me. *smile*

Please, please note that I am really frustrated while I’m typing these words down-so no offence! Huhu! *pouring out my heart broken lullaby*

:: maklong said my brain is damaging due to the failure of myself trying to cope with this kind of fatal depression and focus distraction::

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Cintai Aku

sedihnya...

sayunya...

terasingnya...

kenapakah pengorbanan ini acapkali berakhir dgn kelukaan....

Sanggupkah ku bertahan
Tanpamu disampingku
Setelah kau memutuskan kita berpisah
Serasa seumur hidupku selalu denganmu

Haruskah ku relakan
Haruskah ku berjalan
Tapi bayang wajahmu selalu di anganku
Karna cita yang dulu pernah kau beri
takkan kulupa untuk selamanya

Cintai dan sakiti hatiku kalau itu dapat membawamu
kembali ke pelukankulagi…
Aku rela memberi sgalanya untukmu

Malam yang dingin ini membuatku menangis
melihat gambar kita yang dulu bahagia
ke mana perginya masa indah itu
Tuhan tolong kembalikan kisahku

Cintai dan sakiti hatiku kalau itu dapat membawamu
kembali ke pelukan ku lagi…
Aku rela memberi sgalanya untukmu…

Monday, September 17, 2007

Bukan Citra Terindah

Salam

Thinking about life, sometimes makes us realize how unfair life could be and how unequal the opportunity picks a person to hit on.

Most of the times we stuck on the road of indecisive choice. And to make it worst when the decision that we made ended up to be lame. Kita menyalahkan taqdir dan seringkali kita mengeluh atas taqdir yg menimpa diri tanpa kita sedari hikmah yg tersirat disebalik kepincangan pilihan itu adalah jauh lebih menguntungkan.

Saya juga tidak lepas daripada menyalahkan taqdir.
Melihat insan lain mendapat yg lebih baik daripada apa yg mereka sepatutnya perolehi membuatkan kita seakan menyerah terhadap ketidakadilan putaran kehidupan.

Saya sudah membuat yg terbaik namun nasib tetap TIDAK berpihak kepada saya. Putus asa? Well,kdg2 saya give up… namun,kata mak..mengalah adalah sifat org yg lemah…kesusahan dan kepayahan menjadikan saya tabah..terus berusaha memberikan yg terbaik. Alhamdulillah.

Kita berfikir dimana silapnya.
Apa kurangnya…

Namun percayalah bahawa apa yg kita lalui kini adalah yg terbaik Allah telah tetapkan untuk kita.
Siapa kata taqdir tidak boleh diubah?
Bukankah Allah menyuruh kita berusaha?

Jalan itu ada dimana-mana...
Kita yg harus menentukannya…
Insyaallah…

Blessing From Above

Salam.

Today I am so excited!
Damn excited… Hihi…
Really lar… I never feel so happy like I am today. Mr.Ibtisam gets his dream job at our hometown. The pay is okay (although it is a little bit less than we expected) but still it enough to pay for the car, shopping, and saving a little for our future.

He called me early this morning with his easy breezy jolly voice and my hunch just told me that something good has happened. And I was right when he told me about the good news!!!

This 1st of October he will work as a Personal Loan Executive at Malaysian Building Society Berhad (MBSB) one of the largest financial exempt institution in Malaysia that offers property and wealth management as well as providing miscellaneous kind of loans. A reputable and well established financial institution and your position is enormous! (I am a little bit exaggerating here… Huhu...) I am just happy with you, babe.

So after this, kumpul duit banyak2,k?...
Huhu…

Congratulations honey…
It’s a blessing from above.
Alhamdulillah.

:: as like you said “Have faith in Allah” ::

Friday, September 14, 2007

Saya Yg Pasif

Salam

Hurrrmmm....baru nak pukul 12pm..
tapi terasa mcm bertahun2 nak jejak ke pukul 7pm...
silly me..(bawaklah bersabar...)
almost 24 years of roaming the earth neh pun saya still rasa mengada2 nak tahan
puasa...damn really mengalahkan budak kecik...
time nak sahur liat nak bangun..then time nak buka puasa pulak
daddy dearie pening kepala melayan karenah puteri2 dia...
nak cendol,teh bunga,roti john,murtabak...rojak..
hello..kata nak diet???
my mum pulak is the rajinest person in the universe...
masak tuh,masak nih...saya rasa bertuah ade ibu yg pandai masak..
she's really good in cooking... =)
*****
tapi...this ramadhan...jauh dgn en.ibtisam la pulak...
kalau zaman dulu2...time belajar dulu (zaman muda muda) saya lah yg jadi
alarm clock dia...time sahur saya adalah time sahur dia..
dgn gigihnya saya kejut dia bgn sahur...and kdg2 saya pulak yg tak bangun sahur...hihi..
time berbuka adalah yg paling meriah..
berderet polisterin..bekas2 air...
en.ibtisam loves malay foods those yg spicy and exotic...
saya dan en.ibtisam akan sama2 mengharung baazar ramadhan kat serdang tuh
and beli whole lot of things and then we ended up crazy full!
*****
betul2 miss those days and miss him too...
*****
punyelah saya ni sgt pasaif,saya type ini dgn keadaan berbaring dan meniarap
dgn kepala separas dengan keyboard...
duduk berhibernasi dalam bilik sambil ditemani PC yg setia...
waiting for the clock to keep on ticking...
for the time to keep on running...
sambil berkira2 menu apa yg bakal saya makan ketika berbuka nanti...(hehehhh...)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Ramadhan Yang Terang

Salam.
Awal maghrib kami sudah melekat dihadapan TV.mahu menanti pakcik yg saban tahun memberikan khabar gembira kedatangan ramadhan al-mubarak dan idul fitri.pakcik itu panjang umur.hehe~syukur.khamis ini kita akan sama2 menjalankan ibadah puasa.secara tidak langsung ini peluang saya untuk berdiet.pipi sudah tembam.maka wajiblah sudah saya untuk berdiet. =b
minggu lepas saya berkonflik dgn pakngah.konflik keadaan.kdgkala saya bersikap pemarah.timbul rasa menyesal.umur yg meningkat masih belum mematangkan saya dalam mengawal kemarahan.samaada pakngah dipihak yg benar ataupun tidak, itu tidak lagi penting bg saya.saya minta maaf,pakngah.geram krn diri diperstupidkan.*ramadhan membuka peluang keinsafan*
saya muhasabah diri sendiri.mencari dimana khilafnya saya.saya juga seperti mereka.pengalah pada keadaan.semoga ramadhan memberikan sinar terang.ramadhan simbol cinta.hamba kepada penciptanya.terasa diri kecil dan tuntas mendaki puncak cinta teragung.
Subhanallah.AllahuAkbar.
Dalam saya mengejar cinta manusia,ingin jua cinta agung YaRabbi saya dakap.
Diri ini banyak dosanya.
terasa hati hitam.bernoda.
semoga ramadhan datang dgn sinar yg terang.
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN SEKALIAN.
:: Tangisan Barakah.. ::

Monday, September 10, 2007

Cries

Salam.

It has been ages since I last cried.
But today, my emotion over loaded me.
When I watched him took his steps, tears rolling down and wet my cheeks.
The sadness overwhelming me.
Those two days were the happiest day in my life. It was among the most unforgettable.

This emptiness that you left somehow will always makes me realize how great it is to have you in my life…

:: a great man he is… ::

Friday, September 7, 2007

Why You Have To Fear, When I Comes Too Near?

salam.

Each time they meet their friends, they will be talking about ME. My styles, my outfits, my handbags, my shoes, my make ups and everything that comes with me. My skin tone, my body weight, my boyfriend, my friends, my foes… ooo they just can’t stop talking and gossiping about ME. They wanted to know everything about me, they digging up stories and if they couldn’t they will create one big juicy story about ME. That is what they do usually when my name comes to their mind. They just can’t avoid me because I’m irresistible.
Things that they will be talking about me are:
(1) My boyfriend~ this will usually comes first among of all. 8 years and it will still be the same. Same stories, same gossips, they will spice it up a little and sometimes will go over the line.
(2) My family~ everything that happened in my family will be discussed under the topic ‘what are their latest happening events?’ I live a life of a celeb!
(3) My finance~ they will die in grudge when they see my saving account. Full stop. End of the story.
(4) My car~”She is not working, how come she owned a car!! That must be a scandal!!” what is a big deal about that? Don’t make such a big fuss about that. Look at yourself! Hey, you are not married, how come you could have a baby? ~Nahhh… who wants to answer that??!
(5) My Degree~ “Is she already finished her study?” “Got what class of degree aaa?”. Phewww! Again.. I live a life of a celeb!
(6) My Life History~ Stories since I was a little kid until my recent age, they will be talking about this unstoppably. Never-ending. My stories are ever green. Should I be proud of that? Again, they will spice it up… Goreng pon sodapppp!

There you go. A bunch of peoples can’t stop but talking about ME. They just love ME. They adore ME so much. Without ME to light up their lives, they will become dull and boring. Thanks to ME. In fact, they wanted to be ME, but they just couldn’t. So, I will leave them in envy, hatred arouse and envelop them for the rest of their life, while they busy talking and saying things about ME, I will navigate my own life in a solemn happiness.
Keep talking peoples. You can’t change anything.

Rahsia!! (shhhh)

Bangun pagi2. online saja, sudah di tag oleh Dhiey.
O0o...mau lari jauh2 yah... nanti!!


Baiklah. Ini tajuk tag kita pada hari ini.

5 Things Which Are Unknown To The Public.


Hmmm…. Berat hati juga mahu mengaku. It’s supposed to be secret la weh.
Tapi takpelah… mari kita berkongsi rahsia Hyatt. Ngehehe…

(#1 ~ Saya Tahu Kalau Orang Menipu)

Haa.. skill ini sgt2 diperlukan kebih2 lagi kalau kita bakal menjadi seorang guru.yaaa...tepat sekali. Skill kantoikan orang kalau ada orang try nak kelepet kita. Alhamdulillah. Ni bakat yang Allah swt bagi pada saya. Dengan syarat, saya kena berdepan dgn orang itu la. Kalau tipu saya dalam phone atau email atau sms, kompom saya pon akan terkelepet jugak.kakaka. orang nak kelepet kita nih senang jer nak tau… *rahsia tidak boleh didedahkan…* hihi… yahh..jgn cuba2 tipu saya.. =b

(#2~ Saya Panas Baran)

Hmmm… seperti Dhiey, saya jarang marah. Tetapi apabila sudah marah, maka akan terjadilah sesi sepak terajang tendang tumbuk, kutukan bertalu2, ungkit mengungkit dan segala mcm jurus2 peperangan epik kuno akan terkeluar dgn sendirinya. Cepat co0l, tetapi mengambil masa yg lama untuk memaafkan. H0ho..

(#3~ Sebelum Tido Suka Berangan Date Dengan Artis)


hahahaha… weh… suka hati sayalah..
tuh yg kekadang termimpi2 tuh..nganganga…

(#4~ Bagi Nama Orang Yang Saya Benci Kepada Binatang Peliharaan)

haha... padan muka. Saya kejam.

“Meh leman,meh…kurrr…kurrrr..kurrr…”

(#5~Jiwang...)

Saya seorang yg jiwang. Jiwang karat. Huhu.kat luar jer nampak cam macho..tapi...hahaha....
UUU..enough! Enough!

Maka. Mangsa2 tag saya adalah...:
Hai
Cik Nad

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Words Between The Lies

Salam.

Ibtisam initiates the talk yesterday with a very simple question. A simple one yet struck me to a massive numb.

Ibtisam: Have you ever lied to someone?

Me: (paused for a moment) ….I think I did it sometimes…

Ibtisam: Why must you lie? You did it purposely?

Me: It’s a white lie. I did it for the sake of everyone. Well, I’m not doing it freely. It’s basically depending on the reason.

Ibtisam: A lie is a lie. There is no such term as a white lie. Think about the person you lied. Aren’t they feel so much pain when they know the truth? They must have loose their trust on you.

Me: They don’t have to know that I lied to them. If they know the truth, that will hurt them deeply. (My facial expression started to turn red. Ibtisam really put me in a hot conversation with him)

Ibtisam:
So you mean that, you lied because you wanted to save yourself from a deadly occasion? Aren’t that selfish?

Me: stop digging me! You’re acting like you have not ever lie in your entire life!!

Ibtisam: That is because I haven’t lie to anybody. I’m giving excuses but not lying. Hard to believe?

Me: Yeahhh…damn hard to believe..!

Ibtisam: How many times that you ended up crying when you asked me something? How many times did I fight with my friends when they wanted to know something from me? Have I ever escaped from trouble each time I tell the truth? Can you tell me when did I say to you that you are not fat when the fact is you’ve got a bump on your tummy? You cried. My friends hurt. I did hurt. But I rather be hurt and hurt someone for them to know the truth rather than saying lies to them, and to you. Because telling the truth makes us stronger and ready to face any kind of consequences without having any fear. You are going to be a teacher and a teacher should not lie, because kids trust you. They see you as their light. No matter how small your lie might be, don’t go for it.

Me: (speechless….)


:: ask yourself, have you ever going through one day without ever telling a single lie? =) *wink~wink* ::

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Allah Memang Sengaja

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat menjadi penilai yg baik.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa kita hanyalah makhluk yg sentiasa mengharapkan pertolonganALLAH.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kitadengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat KASIH SAYANG YANG TERBAIK,KHASUNTUK DIRI KITA.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa ALLAH MAHA PEMURAH &PENYAYANG kerana mengingatkan kitabahawa dia bukanlah pilihan yg hebat untuk kita dan kehidupan kita pada masa depan...
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita
dapat mengutip pengalaman yg tak semua orang berpeluang untuk mengalaminya.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kitajadi MANUSIA YG HEBAT JIWANYA.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita lebih faham bahawa CINTA YG TERBAIK HANYA ADA BERSAMA ALLAH.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita LEBIH MENGENALI KEHIDUPAN YG TAK
SELAMANYA KEKAL.

Understanding Stupidity

Salam.

Stupidity comes with many terms. Terms such as fool, half-wit and many more. Sometimes, we did come up with our own term of stupidity. It is miscellaneous. But one thing for sure, stupidity is the incapability of human being to use the brain in certain situation and sometimes the incapability is by intentional reasons. The kind of stupid that I’m talking right now is not the kind of inborn stupid. Have you ever heard of nature versus nurture? Well, in both conditions stupidity can be develop. But it’s not what I meant. Here, I want to talk about the ‘stupid’ which is purposely done.


Forrest Gump says’ Stupid as stupid does’. Stupid relies on the eyes of the beholder. Sometimes peoples tend to act stupid although they did realize how stupid they may look when they act stupid. They did things without reasons. Just to show how stupid they are. It is a pity, right? Seeing those peoples with high level of academic achievement yet they choose to be a moron. Usually, peoples like this, they basically needs help. A professional helps to guide them to understand the living nature. Why they exist, why certain things happened this way, why peoples have to be this way. They have the brain, only they didn’t know the exact way to use it or they pretending like they don’t have one.


We should care for those peoples because they need our love and attention. They may become a danger threat towards the society if they are not be given necessary care and help. So we as the caring and loving Malaysian, lets together hand in hand, help them to become a good human being. We should always keep our eyes on them for they may hurt themselves by their stupidity. So here, our role as a big heart citizen is definitely needed.


Let’s help them. They just ‘stupid’. They don’t know a thing.

(How many stupid word I used?)

:: Am I sarcasm enough? Need more? =) ::

Kisah Seorang Manusia

Salam.
Baru sahaja lepas membaca sebuah e-artikel berguna tulisan seorang sahabat yg dikirimkan melalui emel.
hmmm...boleh juga dijadikan hiburan tetapi pd ms yg sama dijadikan panduan dlm kehidupan. memetik kata seorang sahabat saya yg suka sgt menggunakan ayat2 euphamisme dan eksploitasi kata2, dia pernah berkata,
"Kadang2, Allah sengaja temukan kita dengan org yg salah sebelum kita ditemukan dgn org yg mmg untuk kita..." (Quote: Hai)
***
bila difikirkan, mmg wajar dan ada betul apa yg dikatakan (hai mmg berpengalaman luas dlm hal2 begini...hihi..)
saya sendiri sbg contoh utama,beberapa kali juga bertemu dgn org yg salah sblm saya settled down and having a great life with him. (cehhhh!)
***
disini, saya bukan nak bercerita tentang saya dan dia. nanti naik muak pula para pembaca budiman sekalian... =)
saya cuma ingin menceritakan satu kisah, kisah kehidupan seorang manusia yg mempunyai isu dalam diri. kisah seorg manusia yg saya sentiasa doakan hidupnya sentisa didalam lindungan rahmat yg Maha Esa. bercakap secara jujur, saya bukan org baik. muslimah sejati jauh sekali. saya menjalani hidup normal seperti remaja perempuan yg lain. bercinta, berkasih sayang, bersuka ria dan saya akui saya mmg seorang yg open minded,tetapi pemikiran konservatif saya sebagai seorang islam masih saya pegang kuat.
***
rupa2nya cara hidup saya ini menjadi isu.membebankan org lain.secara tidak langsung, dalam kata mudah, hidup saya menjadi kisah dalam hidup org lain.pelik kan?knp agaknya?...hmmm.mungkin punya sejarah silam hitam dgn saya.pulangnya bersama dendam.saya tahu yg 'dia' selalu menanti saat2 kejatuhan saya.hidup saya dicaturnya.hatinya gembira setiap kali berita liar dan berasaskan dengki mengenai saya, singgah ditelinga 'dia' dan keluarganya.saya selebriti dalam hidupnya.terima ksih kerana pilihan anda sememangnya sgt tepat.jadikan saya contoh dalam hidup anda krn hidup saya adalah tanda aras bagi hidup anda.
***
seringkali saya tertawa kecil.bukan sekali dua.tetapi acapkali.lebih2 lagi apabila teringatkan betapa bodohnya saya pernah cuba untuk menerima kehadiran dia dalam hidup saya.jahilkah saya?atau..sebenarnya saya diberikan kesempatan oleh Tuhan untuk membuat pilihan?pilihan terbaik dalam hidup saya?saya ambil yg positif.kebahagiaan perlukan pengorbanan.dan alhamdulillah.it's paid.now.
tak usah menjadi hipokrit.apa guna jadikan pegangan sebagai topeng diri?tanya hati.kalau masih ada sifat2 kotor dalam diri,maknanya perubahan anda hanya sia2.orang boleh mengata yg bukan2 pasal diri saya.dan saya hanya melihat dgn diam sbg perisai.knp nak melatah?bukankah nanti padang mahsyar menjadi mahkamah keadilan hakiki kita?...kita hny perlu sabar menanti tibanya saat itu.Amin...
***
Buat 'anda', saya sesungguhnya sedia maklum dgn apa yg berlaku.kita sebagai manusia sepatutnya sudah sedia arif dgn qada dan qadar, dan saya anggap ini semua sebagai ketentuan.siapa anda untuk menentukan?...
pernah dgr 'what goes around,comes around?' bahasa euphamisme nya adalah karma.
suatu ketika nanti, anda akan mengalami deja vu.suatu kejadian yg sgt persis,yg kini berlaku ke atas diri saya, akan turut juga berlaku kpd anda~bakal isteri anda,mungkin anak2 gadis anda,mungkin juga saudara2 perempuan anda.... =) bukan mendoakan yg bukan2 kpd anda,tetapi saya rasa...sudah sampai masa anda pergi dari hidup saya secara terhormat. hentikanlah apa yg sia2...anda mahu berubah,alhamdulillah dan sekalung syukur saya ucapkan,namun..berubahlah secara sepenuhnya... bukan untuk menunjuk2 diri kita sempurna dgn mengupas aib hidup orang lain.anda harus tahu,hati kita adalah tempat segala2nya.
***
maaflah krn saya pernah kecewakan anda dan pernah mensia2kan hati anda.mungkin saya tidak cukup 'baik' untuk anda.anda org baik2.saya pula hny insan biasa yg dtg dari keluarga sederhana.
saya tahu anda marah dgn saya.mungkin berdendam.tak salah anda membuat pakatan.
cuma,jgn sampai menjerat ms depan... =)
:: hidup saya bukan hny untuk memuaskan hati org... ::

Sunday, September 2, 2007

And He Is Taken


Salam.

Have you ever try to put yourself in an ugly girl shoes? Have you understood how her feeling is? Well, I definitely did because I am the ugly girl that we are talking about. Yup. I’m not beautiful. I don’t have those attractive senses that could pull man’s legs and crawling over me. Men usually will not look twice upon me. They only did if they see something funny on me. Maybe my makeup, my outfits, and the way I walked, the way I turn my head. I’m not superbly gorgeous and I don’t have anyone to blame on. Poor me…

8 years back, I’m only sixteen and the level of adrenalin inside the body of a teenage is way too high. I want to be loved and love somebody. Regardless the fact that I’m just an ugly duckling I kept on trying and to no avail. It was really frustrating yet embarrassing when I think back on those days. Chasing over guys and fighting for some jerks too. Goshhh.. I didn’t realize how stupid I was. Until the 15th of March 1999…the most unforgettable day in my life.

If human look can be counted in the most beautiful and serene scenery ever exists in this world, I think he definitely won this. He was so fresh, gorgeous, handsome :who is he? Standing at the corner of the grocery shop, he was so peaceful. His eyes were talking and his lips seemed calling out my name. I felt numb. Seriously. I was on my way home after school and seeing such scenery made me melt. Hmmmm…. I sighed. With such a super-face, I don’t think that he is available. He must be taken. I bet that. But, he is worth of trying. Nothing to loose, aite?

I don’t think that I can get him. We just like a heaven and earth. Everything seems so impossible. Too good to be true. He is so fine and I’m everything but pretty…. (--.)

8 years after that, I’m totally right. The handsome and gorgeous man that I was once drooling about is now taken. He is no longer available. He is now become such a gentleman. Sometimes I wander if he is an angel cleverly disguised in a human form. Yeahh, he is now with me. Mine. My man. As I said before, he is worth of trying! =)

:: AN ugly duckling I was once, and now I am a graceful swan.. . ::