Me And Your Hatred

Peoples always easily jump into conclusion without even use their brain to think.
They simple swirl and twirl the straight fact and truth that lies in front of their eyes and make it into a very massive deception. An innocent people will be the major victim.

I have never wanted to navigate my life definitely like the life that I am living now. .
I simply took this as a test for me from The All mighty. Who do we think we are to question every single thing that Allah has already assigned us to be? Not everything that happened is questionable. Sometimes we have to learn to accept the fact and live with that for the rest of our life.

Sometimes I really felt like I want to burst into tears. This burden being thrust upon my chest is too torturing. The moment I thought that I can’t hold it any loner, Allah gave me strength and patience to endure the pain. Allah is the All mighty.

Peoples always wanted to know everything about me.
And when they do, it hurts me so much.
I have no privacy at all. I’m being disturbed and up to a stage where they became wild and they will do anything just to make sure that I’m suffering from their actions. How cruel human could be and how dark the con of human… (Astaghfirullah…)

I have been whining and fussing about this all the time.
9 years… and it’s still ongoing…

Forgive me for being me…
For my presence in this world…
Question me with all those lies…
And with the name of Allah, I will still rise…

And this is the answer for the BIG question that peoples always ask me:

“Yes, his family still rejects me. My status doesn’t compatible with his. For ages you have been trying to keep us separated, and for ages too Allah has keep us together. This bond will last forever… InsyaAllah…”

(Tanpa Tajuk)

Minggu terakhir bergelar seorang penganggur terhormat sebelum melangkah ke alam pekerjaan… poyo betul~

Sepatutnya, sekolah apa yg bakal saya berkhidmat adalah rahsia, tetapi berkat pertolongan uncle saya yg berhati mulia dan penuh berjasa (he works at PPD Batu Pahat) maka perkara yg sepatutnya rahsia itu telah menjadi bukan lagi rahsia. Hhahhaaa...~

Inilah saya..yg bakal mendidik warga2 SMK (S) Seri Gading.
Maka disebut sahaja nama sekolah,akan ada yg bertanya ‘S’ tuh stand for apa..
Sengalkah?... Sempoi kah…? Suka hati mak bapak kau kah?...

Hihi.. sebenarnya ‘S’ itu stand for ‘SUKAN’.
Sekolah yg bakal saya berkhidmat ini adalah merupakan salah satu daripada 2 buah sekolah sukan di Johor. Baru sahaja. Agak-agaknya kurang dari 7 tahun sekolah ini bergelar sekolah sukan. Baru mahu membina reputasi sejagat, takrif saya.

Alhamdulillah...
Saya rasa berbangga juga dapat mendidik anak bangsa sendiri..
Pernah dulu saya berikrar pada diri, mahu menjadi seorang guru bahasa Inggeris dan mendidik anak-anak Jawa (seperti saya) untuk bertutur dan menguasai bahasa dunia ini. Rasa sedih pula...
Dengan niat ikhlas ini maka saya iqtikadkan dalam hati, yg saya mahu menjadi seorang guru yg ikhlas dan berjasa...

1hb November ini, maka rasmilah saya bergelar dulu (waaa..terlupa pula..kami ader tempoh probation..huhu...tapi technicallynya kami sudah layak dipanggil guru...).

takut, excited, malu, sedih...perasaan yg bercampur baur dalam hati...

I can do it...
This is what I have wanted for so long... this is it…
This is the time…

:: bukan sahaja mahu mengajar.. tetapi mahu mendidik mereka yg perlukan didikan… rahmati ku ya Tuhan…::

Surat Keramat

Still in a sleepy mode~

Suddenly an audible sound of roaring engine came to my ears.
What is that?
In this half-awake state of mind I can’t really tell what would that sound actually be, but it seems so familiar…

(Pauses…..~)

Aiyakkkk!!! Bunyik motor Postman larr…!!

With a full speed of a race horse (still with pajamas) I ran to the front house, with both hands erected straight to reach the letter-box and I stumbled to see that there was actually nothing in my letter-box.

Disappointed, I took a deep sigh. Only a moment before I realized a white envelope being folded together in my letter-box! With a single glance, no one could actually notice that actually it was a letter because it is so small, stuffed into my letter box.. (hampeh ko en.posmen…)

Shakingly, I took the letter and read the name on the envelop…

URUSAN SERI PADUKA BAGINDA

Norhayati Binti Isnin
NO.14 Kampung Parit Banyumas,
Parit Yaani
83710 Yong Peng,
Johor

I opened the letter…

……dengan segala hormatnya tuan/puan telah ditempatkan sebagai Guru Siswazah sandaran Terlatih ke Negeri Johor mulai 1 November 2007. penempatan sekolah tuan/puan akan dimaklumkan semasa tuan/puan melaporkan diri…

Then everything went black… I passed out….

^Raya...Raya...Kan Sebulan,Kan??^

5 Syawal 1428H

Salam Aidilfitri.

Masih lagi dalam mood raya. Still lurking in the kitchen, looking for the biscuits and cakes.
My mom still busy visiting home to home (Marhaban) so I’ll be left alone with my younger sister and since we both are so extremely lazy to cook, we end up eating those kuih raya. Hehe…

Sahabat2 sudah ramai yang pulang ke tempat masing2.
Ke kampus (mana2 yg still study lagi) and some are off to work. Hari raya tahun ini disambut dengan meriah. Persiapan yg hanya ala kadar menjadi begitu hebat sekali apabila Syawal diraikan bersama orang2 yg tersayang. Walaupun collection duit araya amat mengecewakan (mereka :: my sisters :: kata saya akan bekerja.. so tak dapat la lagi duit raya!) ada juga sahabat handai yg sudah bekerja memberikan saya sampul berisi duit raya! Hihi.. (Thanxs to En.Nazmi and Eja)
Seronok sgt menghabiskan masa berziarah dan bermaafan.

^rumah encik baju berwarna biru...^


^ko'in house(baju hijau): sedapnyer bihun yg mak die masak...^

^eja's house (white tudung) : boys are not in this pics!huhu^

^teratak saya...^

Saya juga sempat berhari raya bersama rakan taulan.
Syawal ke lima kami habiskan masa seharian untuk mengunjungi rumah teman2. mabuk oren! Cause hampir semua rumah yg kami pergi, semua hidangkan oren sebagai minuman. Haha.. tergelak besar kami ketika melihat tuan rumah menatang dulang berisi air oren! Kami mmg mabuk oren!

Bergelak ketawa bersama teman2, melihat keakraban yg terjalin dengan usia persahabtan yg mencecah 7 tahun, saya merasa sgt tersentuh. Kami mampu bertahan selama itu. Alhamdulillah. Tidak dinafikan dalam bersahabat mmg tidak akan lepas daripada bermasam muka dan percanggahan pendapat, namun segalanya ditangani dgn bijak. Saya merasa sgt bertuah mempunyai teman2 yg saya percayai. (Thanxs to Naddy and Ponet)

Hmmmm….
Perut tiba2 terasa lapar.
Biskut ada lagi…
Maka…saya mengundur diri dulu…
Mahu makan kuih raya...
Hahaha...

:: Berdebar menanti surat posting dari KPM... ::

Eid On The Space (History Is In The Making)

Salute to our very 1st cosmonaut, Dr.Sheikh Muzzaffar for he is the first person celebrating Syawal on the outer space!!

Dr. Faiz Khaleed, your turn is after this. Being number two is always so tensed, but not for this situation, you also will make us proud, babe! =)

Malaysian is on the move, babe!
I am so proud to be Malaysian. We are now moving faster than expected, leaving behind all the flaws and racing forward neck to neck with other world countries.

Isn’t that amazing seeing our flag on the ISS?
We make our own history on space.
When I was sitting with my family, watching the blast off of the rocket that brings along our first cosmonaut, my feeling was miscellaneous. The feeling of sad, proud, happy and yet amazed were being blended together.

Let us pray that God will keep Dr. Sheikh strong and healthy always. His return is waited by the whole country and the pride that he brings is the most wonderful blessing for the Malaysian.

I have to say that I am really proud.
I am running out of words to describe how happy I am to watch Malaysian making history and we should be ashamed if we doing nothing that can be proud of.

Instead of keep on damaging the social development, let us stand together and makes our own history. Who knows, maybe one day our names will be written on the page of world history? There is nothing in this world that is impossible to achieve. If God will, then nothing rest will stop us.

Can’t wait for the touch down…

insyaAllah, Dr. Sheikh will be fine… (^^,)

*Holy Eid...*

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri diucapkan untuk semua.
3 hari sudah Aidilfitri berlalu. Kemeriahan masih dirasai.

Hari ni, rumah saya a little bit sunyi sket coz my nieces and my sisters semua dah balik ke rumah in laws diorang.
Phewww… what a relief…
Having a super duper kid with extreme source of energy is really a troublesome… but can you imagine how mess it would be if that source coming in double??
Woo0oo… so tiring!
Chasing around the house, trying to catch two kiddos was really challenging.
Panjat pagar, duduk atas meja, loncat2 terjun sofa, jerit2, terpekik2 and sepahkan barang2dalam rumah adalah antara scenario yg berlaku in my house this previous week until yesterday.

My nieces are superbly hyperactive.
Cya and Una.
Baru pandai cakap and they babbling and fussing about the whole thing!!

“kenapa uda pasang langsir senget?tingkap pakai skirt eaa?“
"kuih ni tak sedap..pahitttt!!“
“tanak mandi!!!!nak makan bek onennnn! (mc Donald)”
“una jom lompat2…nanti uda marahhh!hihihi…”
“nak main solek2 udaaaaa…”

^ 2 org makhluk cumel yg tersangatlaaaahhh notty nyer...feat.cucuq...^

waaaa….penatnye….!
kemas depan dapur bersepah, kemas dapur ruang tamu tunggang langgang..
eiii….!!
Mereka sgt nakal…

And pagi raya, after kami bermaaf2an dgn parents and my sisters and my brothers in law…si kecil berdua ni pandai pulak menadah tangan mintak duit raya!!!

Telatah mereka mmg menggelikan hati,kadang2 nak marah pun tak jadi…
Small kids are always like that... =)
*sighs*

Hari raya pertama and kedua mmg busy.
Layan sedara mara yg dtg, pergi beraya…mmg seronok…
Walaupun penat…tapi best…
Patutlah aidilfitri tak pernah hilang seri…
Berkat kemenangan yg sgt besar…

Buat semua, selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.
Maafkan segala salah silap dan halalkan segala makan minum...
=)

Dream Comes True (^^,)

Salam.

I will make this short.
Really short and precise without losing its main content.
What I’m going to tell is like moon falling onto my lap.
And with warmest great of honor I would like to share this with you guys.

I’ve checked the MOE website and guess what, I’ve made it!!
I did pass the killing interview of becoming the next great teacher of Malaysia and my placement would be around JOHOR!!!!
Wouldn’t it great??!
Alhamdulillah…
Praise to Allah.
I don’t have any idea yet where I might be posted to but still for sure it will be in JOHOR, my greatest place… =)
The result of the school placement will only be revealed this coming 18th of October, so until that very day I just have to wait and pray patiently… hopefully I will get somewhere around Batu pahat.

I can’t wait…
Really…
I have to report duty on 1st of November 2007.
Owwhh… it’s just around the corner.
My heart thumping, all my nerves are kicking in, butterflies in my stomach…
Phewww… guys, you don’t have any idea how nervous I am waiting for that day.
Questions are haunting my mind.
What kind of teacher I might be?
Do the students will love me?
Will I make it through?
Will I survive this war?
Will I be ‘the’ teacher?
Will I make any different?
Will I be their inspiration?
Omg… here I am…
I don’t want to be just ‘a’ teacher…
Ya Allah, give me strength to be ‘the’ teacher…

InsyaAllah…

18th of October…. (berdebar…)

24

ASSALAMUALAIKUM…

First of all I would like to thank to all my friends yg dah wish birthday kat i…
Aiyoohh… I’m soooo-soooo touched to receive those messages and kind+loving wishes from you guys!!!

I’m getting old by the day and I’m really hope+wish+pray that I can be a better person and a good friend too.
I’m 24 this year and there is nothing much to hope except for a blessed life. Amin…. =)

Thanks you soo0o0o much…

*tak dapat nak personally thank you guys coz the names are too many! =b
tapi still rase yg terharu amat coz ramai yg ingat…wuuuuuu…*

I love you guys!!!!!

PERSONAL MESSAGE:

Fir (Firdaus) ~ happy belated birthday kat kau!!! =)
Raya dtglah umah yerrrr!
=)

Jen (Miss Niza) ~ yawp! Ur cd is still wif me—my baddd!!!

Ibtisam~thansx babe!!!


Selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin! =)

Gorgeous Houses!!! (Shit It Ain't Mine!)

Salam

This morning I was accompanying En.Ibtisam went to the site. Chewah.. kunun2 lar using the big word but not coming from my term. Haha… ‘Site’.
Hehe…

Site here means the show houses which are located at BCB Banang Country Heights and Golf Club. It is a place where those rich peoples live. He was assigned to handle and to prove a case of a loaner who wanted to do a housing loan. So he basically has to go to the site named by the loaner, check the house placement, price rates, and the condition of the house as well as the profit input from the deal. It was a Saturday morning, man! This is the first week he works and yet he has already being assigned! Boring tau!
So there we were, early this morning we were already at the site.

At first, I was whining about the whole things. The sun, the traffic (which I didn’t know exactly what the cause was this maniac traffic!) and some other things. I pulled my sulky face. We are supposed to go for a movie, but then we have to cancel it because of this shit!! Benci! Poor him. He had to ‘tahan’ everything, and still smiling.

Sampai je kat show houses tu, we gave our name, then we entered the first show house and I was like totally numb!

* pictures adalah ditahap bongok krn kadar upload yg cam escargot so i hv to resize it!!*

It was damn beautiful!!
Fucking awesome!
The i.d was superb!!!
The colors were perfect!!!

Whoaaa… I’ve never been to any show houses before. This was my first time and I was like ‘jakun’ a little bit.
Giler chantekkkk sgt2!!
The house got 3 phase tau.
Single storey, double and triple.
Semua chantek2 and the price rates mmg gile2 affordable. Starting from 100k and above (ikut specification of the house and also the i.d)
Tapi mmg berbaloi la beli rumah2 tu.. Elegant and stylish!

I ventured from room to room, house to house and rasa mcm taknak balik pulak.
The lawn that connected each house tu sgt modern look, ciri2 moden kontemporari mmg sgt2 ditekankan. And what I liked most is every house tu full of cermin. Mirrors are everywhere!! Not to mention lagi yg bedroom nya sgt best! Classic style with a bit of modern touch.

Merengek2 mintak en.ibtisam beli rumah yg mcm tu. He was just smiling.
Insyaallah..he said..owhh.. it would be just amazing kalau sy dapat that house…

I would probably be awaked every night admiring my living room.
Hahaha…

Insyaallah…
Who knows kan yg maybe one day saya akan dapat rumah yg mcm tu..
Rezeki Allah…
Berkobar2 rasa nak saving more $$$.

Alahai…
Hampir 2 jam berlegar2, and en.ibtisam pun dah siapkan keje and took down every detail which is needed in his report, then we took off.
Jalan2 kat The Summit Parade and BP Mall.
Teman en.ibtisam shopping dia punya kemeja for work, then saya pegi salon jap..(wahhh…memanjakan diri…) seeing my beautician to check on my skin (alhamdulillah…its getting better by the day..)
Ader pulak produk baru…new arrival.. the price mmg crazy but he said its okay..so..sambar 1..hoho…spray for facial skin… skin yg prone to blemish and blackheads… nak chantek punya pasal..whatever la..
Then..balik…
Phewww…penat sgt~

:: after berbuka terbongkang kepenatan..apa jd dgn terawikh mlm nih~lalala...::

Cleaning Out My Closet.

Salam.

I took a few moments before I made my decision to write on this.
Rather feel scared than letting the whole world to know who exactly I am, is the sole feeling that dwelling inside me.

I took a deep sigh and trying to recollect every single detail about my past life.
The life that I’ve tried really hard to forget, but I just couldn’t.
Somehow, God doesn’t want me to forget who I am.
The memories will always be with me.
I wrote sins, not memories.

Skeleton in the closet.
But for my case, it’s not only ‘skeleton’... but ‘skeletons’.
Damn me. I never be proud with myself.
I am a helpless bitch who lurking in the world of conventional phony.
My presence is completely unnoticeable.
I am an absentee.
I never regret the fact that I am nobody but me.


I am a bad girl.
I never took others feeling as important to me.
Hey, to tell you the truth, before this… I am the black sheep of my family.
Poor my parents they had to endure the pain… me, the unfilial daughter…
I did everything, almost everything that it takes to achieve my goal.
Illegal became legal to me.
Enough said that I am a really baaaaaad girl.

But as I grow older, I just knew that somehow I need to change.
I hurt peoples who trust me.
I broke their hearts.
I alienated them from my life.
My life is so secluded.
I am trying really hard to cleaning out my closet.
It is so pathetic but thinking of the fact that one day ahead, we will definitely die and face the judgment day, make me really scared.
I have to clean the mess.
Throw away as far as I could the ugliness inside me.
Mending back the heart that once I purposely broke.

I feel like crying.
I am so sorry for those peoples who once I had disappointed them.
It was just me.
I know that although I have changed, but they will still remember the mean Hyatt, malicious, undisputedly snobbish me, arrogant, heartless. They will just remember it.

I just hope and pray that there will still be a place for me to repent.

I’m cleaning out my closet…

:: I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it, so before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it, I’m gonna expose it… ::

RAYA...

Salam.

Aiyohhh… another challenging week before we celebrate the ‘Hari Raya’.

Syoknyerrr…

Really can’t wait to feel the ultimate satisfaction of preparing house for the day.
Nanti kami semua akan busy.


Abah dengan kerja2 mengecatnya.. (which is almost done… tinggal bahagian luar je and beranda…)
Mak Long and Mak Ngah dengan direct salesnya…(Brooches, Leno’s, Avon’s and banyak lagi…)
My little cukcuk dengan bakeryner… a small part of the kitchen is all hers. Nak buat beskot mazula la, cornflakes la… resipi bertimbun.. (nasib baik kueh raya yg cukcuk buat sgt sedappp…)
Saya…biasalah. Dengan kerja2 maintenance seperti mengelap tingkap, sapu laman, cabut rumput, pasang langsir, polish sofa, cabut sarung kusyen yg lama and ganti dengan yg baru, decorate the living room, bilik2 and yg paling bosan sekali..kena iron langsir..
(tak pernah miss every year doing the same chores…fed up!)

tapi seronok sangat2. nanti berlakulah adegan usik mengusik, palit2 cat..riuh rendah satu rumah..
mak dgn abah dah tak boleh nak kata apa dah…
anak2 gadis mereka neh mmg banyak mulut…
ditambah lagi dengan 2 orang puteri make non…yg sangat petah bercakap, buat sepah and tunggang langgangkan the whole things..*cya and una…*
pening…

tahun neh raya serba hijau untuk dekorasi (langsir,sofa, kusyen, table-cloth) and untuk baju pulak pilih shade maroon dengan hue pink and purple. Thanxs mum… baju raya disponsor oleh mak… Hihi…

Tak sabar nak tunggu kehadiran 1 syawal…
When we all get together...
Sure havoc.. =)
Love that…

Tapi tahun neh raya sedih sket..
Without my beloved yume…
Tapi takpe…
Saya still ada kopi,susu,sasi,meeja and antanum….

Something Stupid

Love is a parable.
Love is an unpredictable happiness.
Love is a solemn promise.
Love is bitter sweet.
Love is truth and lies.
Love is faith a trust.
Love is blind.
Love comes in many definitions. It’s really lies on the mind of the beholder.
Sometimes it may turn out to be the cruelest faith ever happened and sometimes it may seem like a blessing from God bringing down by the angles.

Love is a mutual respect and understanding between two hearts.
It is a sacred bond tied up two souls in its divine path.

Is it a crime when we have to choose for the best?
It is stupid, right?
But it surely necessary…
Let me choose…
For my best…

Let’s Have Some Fun!!

Salam.

Aiyooh… It has been ages since my last update.
I was a little bit lazy to write down anything.
Maybe due to the uncertain weather that somehow affects my mood and courage to write (ye ker…?).
Maklumlah, bulan2 puasa mcm neh~
Sleeping is the best thing to do..^Haha…^ ~Kurang fadhilat puasa I taw..KIkiki..

Last week on Monday was the girls’ day out.
Regardless the fasting month that we are already in, we definitely had fun together on that day.
Me and my two friends (Naddy^mcm biasa^..and Aloy ^rakan media^…) were hang out together.

Mutual destination of course The Summit Batu Pahat (where else to go?...)
Oh ya..got new shopping mall just opened ^Batu Pahat Mall^.. tapi kitorang prefer ke The Summit cause, I don’t know… sentimental values, perhaps?

Then we headed straight to Star Bowl (a place where we have our ultimate fun).
That day, me and Naddy were wearing baju kurung taw, tapi we all still eager nak main bowling.. crazy,tak? (not really,kan?)

So, dengan baju kurung itulah kami main bowling dgn sepuas2 hati dan tenaga.
We were laughing…
Telling silly jokes (as usual)…
It was madness filling in the air…
We were totally crazy…

::eleyley...cumel...::

:: sopan+ayu=anak sapa la...::

At the end after 2 straight games..
Masing2 penat, exhausted, thirsty some more…
Haha…
Padan muka….
Bulan2 puasa pun nak menyetan…

But it was fun..
It was damn fun…

:: tata… ::