Let Him Be Mine...(Please...)

Salam.

It has been ages since I last cried and I swore that I will never ever cry again.
But I guess, I’m not as strong as I have promised.
I’m so vulnerable to pain and heartache.
There is only one thing that touches my heart so deeply.
And that one thing is_HIM.

I care to lose everything in my life but him. How can I afford to lose such a great man like him? He made me so special. He made me believe that there is true love out there. And every time I set my eyes upon him, I keep on falling in love with him over and over again. I rather be hurt, than hurting him.

But lately, situation has been so cruel to me.
Why on earth, it’s always being me?

Fate has spoken… or it’s just a filthy mouth of ungrateful human that actually has give out the verdict?
I don’t know and the truth is… I don’t wanna know.

Love me or hurt me, do it… as long as it can make you be here together with me…

I love him… and if it has been stated in Loh Mahfuz that he is not meant to be mine… then I will walk away…
Far and beyond human love…
I will seclude myself… alienated from the darkest con of human being…
Peoples have been so mean to me…
And I… will never ever give up hope upon us…

:: and if it’s wrong to love you…
then my heart just won’t let me be right… ::

C.L.U.M.S.Y

(Everytime... and I mean everytime, I looked into your eyes... I keep on falling in love...with you... over and over again...)

The first time, that I saw your eyes,

Boy, you looked right through me,

Played it cool, but I knew you knew

That cupid hit me...

You got me tripin, stumblin'...flippin'...fumblin'...Clumsy 'cuz I'm fallin' in love...

You got me slippin'.. tumblin'..sinkin'..crumblin'..Clumsy 'cuz I'm fallin' in love

So in love with you...

::WE will make it true...::

Words Are Sharper Than Swords

Salam.

Human is so wicked yet weird. Chasing over impossible perfection, craving for endless wealthy and so forth, human never learned the word ‘satisfaction’. Well, for some reason, it is a necessity for human to be unsatisfied. Examples: in learning, practicing religion laws, doing good deeds and all. But if it is too much, ignoring the do’s and don’ts in human nature, then you can be called with thousand of bad names.

One disgusting trait of human in, they can’t take criticism although they criticizes a lot. They freely talk about others, condemning and fussing about whole lot of thongs, but when it comes to their own face, they can’t take it. They take it so personally (with a lot of anger and emotions, of course) and the best part is, they easily loose their temper. (owhh..time kau bercakap pasal org bleh plak!! Banyak chantek muka kau!!)

Human is so questionable. You will never know.
Sometimes, with just a simple word, you can change a person’s life.
That’s why, there’s and old saying says ‘word is thicker than sword..’

Then guys, when you talk, think about the person that might hear your words.
When you criticize, be prepared of being critiqued.
What you give, you simple can get it back. Or worst than that.

Tata for now…

NO WORRIES… (I Wish….)

Salam.

Hujan.
Sejuk dan menjadi pasif.
I’m still tired because of the long and busy day today.
(Went to Maybank, KWSP, in short, I’m running errands today…)

Banyak benda yg I worry sangat2, and I hope that I can manage it well.

THE FLOOD

Oh yes… these days hujan turun dengan extremely heavy and this may lead to a huge flood. Poor my parents, we just finished renovated my house and if there is another flood coming, again, it will cause much looses.
Me too. Baru nak start school for next year and kalau banjir one more time~ this gonna be a total disaster…. Hmmm…
Hope everything will be fine… :(

THE SAVING

Takmoh cakap pasal saving yg dah semakin susut!!!
Serves me right! Sapa suruh shopping tak ingat dunia_angka dalam akaun makin berkurangan digitnya!!!! ~ just patiently waiting for my payday.

WORK

Coursework banyak lagi yg tak settle. Kena buat satu2… rasa tak sabar juga nak meet with my students and get back to my core business. Hihi… rasa takot pun ade jugak.. what if~ my students are very notty? Takmau dgr cakap mcm I dulu during my school days? _ngeeeee…

LOVE_LIFE

With the increasing number of my age and him also, we better start off to think to take another step. And we did seriously discuss about this. Now, we only have to wait for our parents’ approval_seriously I sgt takot… :(
What if… (too many what if laaa!!)

Hmmm. Kena sort out one by one…
Baru kepala tak pening…

:: Hyatt yg selalu headache…::

Hey Shoppers!!

Salam.

My new obsession_ online shopping!!!
I’m so addicted to it! I could possibly spent 4-5 hours surfing the net, going to one online store to another and ended up buying loads of things!_ OMG!

Money is not the main issue here but the urge and tendency to buy is way to worrying! I mean, compare to our usual visit to the store in real life, online shopping is much more fascinating and fun too! The price is negotiable and the satisfaction is unquestionable.

And one other thing is my obsession on buying replica things such as AAA replica of branded handbags. Recently I spent over RM650 just to buy one voluptuous LV Neo Cabby MM handbags!! Well compared to the original stuff (which I don’t think that I can afford it_obviously) the replica is not bad too. The quality is 90-95% near perfection. Phewww….

Hmmm… this is have to be stopped.. Or else I will have a short on my saving…
Really…

::~sukeee...hihi...::

TO TIE THE KNOT

Salam.
Hye to all. I woke up a lil’bit late this morning and being surprised (well, it’s not a big thing actually) by Niza saying that she’s getting married at the end of next year.
I’m so happy for her. Another one love story is in the making.

I guess, that’s the best thing for both of them. Niza is in Labuan and Mosh is in Johor, so I think that marriage will keep them close. Hehehee…

A friend of mine asked me, when will I tie the knot?
Well, it’s too hard for me to answer that, actually. Frankly speaking, i‘m afraid of commitment and marriage is something that requires a lot of patience and commitment as well.
I don’t think that I’m ready for that.
Try to look from the financial aspect is one other thing. Financial stability is way from good enough for me to get married. There are things that should be taken care of before I end my single life.

So I think, let’s just pray and hope that this girl will get married soon. Heheee…

:: Always pray.. always have... ::

My Dead Soul~

Salam.

I don’t know why, but the moment I woke up this morning, I felt like something in me was missing.
I lied on my bed with eyes wide open and try to recognize which part in me was actually gone, but, to no avail.
My heart is aching.
In a distance, I could hear the loosing army marching in.
I was cold to stumble.

There is a lot of thing to be considered, yet I’m not done anything so far.
As we are growing up, soon we come to realize that actually life is not as sweet as in may look.
There is no such thing as…”and they lived happily ever after…” (Learn this from the movie ‘enchanted’…)
Reality is cruel. A cold blood murderer.

Journey of life should never be taken for granted, because we might regret it.
As for me, I’m helping myself to be more persist towards my own future.
I can feel my soul is dying, and if help is not being given accordingly, I might bury my own soul in a cemetery of lost.

I have my own story to tell…

Conflict...

FRIDAY 30th November 2007.

We all four sit silently. Everyone seemed in a deep tense. The sound of whipping fan was clearly heard.
I took a single glanced on Nik. It was easily to tell that he was in a deep sorrow. When my eyes met his, a sense of pity tragically overwhelming me. I couldn’t bear this any longer.

“Nik, don’t take this personally…” I said. Almost unheard.
He nodded with a little smile on his face.
I looked at Tim and oat. They were totally ignoring the coming of remorse essence that somehow made me suffocated. This was really torturing me.

Pity Nik.
He was being emotionally killed today.
He was lethally blamed and right now he was totally loosing his strength…

Nik….