Again ::Be it--Bunga::

::there's no harm in day-dreaming,occayhh!::

The time has been so unforgiving—I shall not blame on its punctuality. That’s why there’s an old saying ‘time is golden’ (I doubt that sometimes—because—obviously we can just walk into a pawn shop and see if we can exchange ‘time’ with few dollar notes, right)—there goes my quirk thought (it irks me sometimes, anyway).

Okay, back to the roots. I am regretting the time I had left behind. Why is that? Because—(my plain-and simple answer) I haven’t achieved much in my life. Neither in my academic nor in my career. I’m stuck in my own comfort-zone and pretty much satisfied with my so-called degree (which I doubt if I’m actually qualified—too many fatal errors in getting it actually… err…) I am so0o0o0o afraid to take off my feet from where I’m standing right now— pathetic, huh?

My friends are pretty much work on their living by now. Some of them are becoming great persons and some of them are still jerks (oopsss…). Most of them are making me proud and still—there are some who can’t stop but getting on my nerves. (????) It’s questionable when I still call them friends instead of bugs (owww… see, I begin to use x-rated words again!) but—in short—they used to be my buddies.

In one moment, I feel like upgrading myself. The thoughts and voices in my head that keeps on motivating me to pursue study, better my life, learn how to cook, learn how to control my temper—at the end, it creates a fusion of confusing needs which unfortunately without failing—leads me to a huge disappointment. Let me just put it this way—I’m a self-mechanism. I work on impulse. No force. No pressure.

So again—rather than busying my self learn new things, I be a potato couched. So relaxing, so comforting (sighs….) then I will pretend that my life is better than anyone else. (Let’s skip the scene where I’m yelling at myself, throwing tantrums and swearing my own flaws—of ignorance, of intolerance)

(sighs…)